Am I worried too much? :(

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Heidi-N
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:00 pm

Am I worried too much? :(

Post by Heidi-N » Fri May 22, 2015 4:01 pm

Hi all,

My little girl is 3 months old today. I had a complicated labour, ended up with a 3o tear for me, and a broken arm for my baby. It was the most painful 23 hours in my life so far. It might be the reason that I always feel over stressful after giving birth.

My baby is EBF since birth. Ive never given her any formula, and I dont want to do. At first, we had latching problem, but then everything is better and better. She is a big baby, 4kg when birth, and lost 200gr after 4 days. She regained her weight 4 days after. 3 first weeks she gained 800gr and stayed at line 85th of the growth chart. However, at 2nd and 3rd month, she only gain around 600gr per month. Now she is 3 months old, 6.2 kg and 61.5cm. She dropped from her line, now I think she is at 60-70th line.

My Gp and the nurse did not seem concern. They said she was doing well. However, I still feel uncomfortable with it. I do anything I can, drink a lot of water, eat everything good for baby, feed her every 2 hours or even shorter. She seems happy most time of the day, sleep 9-12hours at night with 2 night feed and reachs many milestones. She loves playing baby gym, smiling, talikng, laughing and doing tummytime. Sometimes she can roll back to upright position when doing tummytime.

BUT I still feel worried. Sometimes Im happy and enjoy every moment with her. Sometimes not. When some friends said that she doesnt gain enough, their babies gain 1-1.5kg per month. Some said I should give her extra formula. I feel bad when thinking My baby is hungry. And now at 3 months, I feel my breats are very soft and "empty". My girl was a fast eater, but now she finished my boob even faster. Around 10mins, maximum 15mins per feed. At around 10 weeks, my baby started sucking her hand, her mouth, her tongue everytime. Is she hungry? Is my milk supply going down? She still sleeps well at night, but is a Light sleeper during the day. Her nap is always less than 2hours, sometimes even 30'. And yes again, some people said that it's because she is hungry.

I feel very stressful with my breastfeeding. My husband said that it is something wrong with me to worry too much. Is it? How I can overcome this kind of feeling? I feel that I am a bad mum. :(

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Mummy woo!
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Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by Mummy woo! » Fri May 22, 2015 5:47 pm

Quick answer only - she sounds perfect. Please call the helpline to chat to a counsellor - they are there tonight and all weekend to help you work out if all is as it should be.

Sounds like you have had a really difficult start to motherhood with the birth and injuries - are you getting some support in processing all that happened to you and bubs?
It's OK Pluto, I'm not a planet either

pseudo
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Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by pseudo » Fri May 22, 2015 7:17 pm

I second everything Mummywoo has said!
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breastfeedingisnormal
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Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by breastfeedingisnormal » Fri May 22, 2015 8:06 pm

Short answer: yes, you are worried too much. If your doctor and child health nurse are both reassuring you and your baby is reaching her milestones, happy between feeds and gaining some weight, you can be absolutely sure she is getting enough to eat. Trust her. Trust your health professionals. Trust your body. If you really can't stop worrying, it might be worth talking to your GP or your Maternal Child Health nurse about getting some help for yourself. Mothers who have difficult births are at high risk for post-natal depression or anxiety so it might be worth talking to a trusted Health Professional about your feelings. They'll be able to work out if a mental health assessment or treatment plan might be appropriate.
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Heidi-N
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:00 pm

Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by Heidi-N » Fri May 22, 2015 9:47 pm

Thank you for all your support. Yes, sometimes It seems that problems are all from me, not my little girl. I really want to stop worrying, and then enjoy my new life with her, but... And yes, you are right, may be because of my difficult labour, or maybe I feel lonely here (im not Australian, we came here 3 years ago for my husband's job - therefore, sorry because of my bad English). Even a small thing can make me feel anxious. For example: my breast is soft, or my baby falls asleep after 5-10 mins when feeding, but still latches on and sometimes sucks, but not swallow, or she still sucks her hand and mouth after feeding... She rarely crys, and if she does, its more like she is tired and sleeply than hungry. BUT I always think about hungry first. Seems like it is really something wrong with me. :(

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Mummy woo!
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Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by Mummy woo! » Fri May 22, 2015 10:29 pm

Heidi-N wrote:Thank you for all your support. Yes, sometimes It seems that problems are all from me, not my little girl. I really want to stop worrying, and then enjoy my new life with her, but... And yes, you are right, may be because of my difficult labour, or maybe I feel lonely here (im not Australian, we came here 3 years ago for my husband's job - therefore, sorry because of my bad English). Even a small thing can make me feel anxious. For example: my breast is soft, or my baby falls asleep after 5-10 mins when feeding, but still latches on and sometimes sucks, but not swallow, or she still sucks her hand and mouth after feeding... She rarely crys, and if she does, its more like she is tired and sleeply than hungry. BUT I always think about hungry first. Seems like it is really something wrong with me. :(
Heidi, there is nothing wrong with you. We are bombarded with messages from advertising and popular culture that women have lots and lots of trouble breastfeeding and frequently can't make enough milk. But we know those messages are just not true. Most women can make milk for their babies and make enough. Sadly, many women believe there is something wrong with their bodies because of all of those negative messages about breastfeeding and because it is hard to know when things are OK with a newborn baby - they can't tell you what is happening!

It is also really common to feel anxious in the early days of learning to be a mum. It is something we all want to do well at, there are so many messages about what we should be doing and there is not as much support for mums as there should be. You mentioned moving here for your partner's work so you may not be aware that your GP can usually refer you on to services for new mums in your local community where you can access additional support. Some of that support is free for all mums and some will be covered by your health insurance - you might need to ask some questions about that.

And get along to an ABA meeting - meet some other mums and talk with a counsellor face to face. You can find a group near you here - we get together, talk about a breastfeeding topic and have morning tea - it's great.
It's OK Pluto, I'm not a planet either

Heidi-N
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:00 pm

Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by Heidi-N » Sun May 24, 2015 8:01 pm

Thank you Mummy woo for your kind support. I definately will find the local group near by my place. Staying at home too much drives me crazy. I loved going outside, travelling and catching up with friends, but after giving birth, I rarely find any time for myself. Also will talk to my Gp.

Im really appreciate as you are all very kind and friendly. Wish you all the best.

Heidi.

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AussieBritLu
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Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by AussieBritLu » Mon May 25, 2015 7:13 am

I can't add anything differently to the others other than you are doing a great job for your little one, it sounds like your little one is doing well.

I understand what it's like feeling lonely (I moved to Australia 5yrs ago!) but I can assure you, it will get better.....and you will make lovely friends with people from ABA! :-) (including here on the forum :-) )
DD1/2011 - FF
DS/2013 - BF 2yr4m. Weaned :-)
DD2/2016 - BF 21mths. Weaned :-/
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Nicwwjd
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Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by Nicwwjd » Thu May 28, 2015 4:10 pm

I too can't add anything more to what the other ladies have said, you sound like you are doing a marvellous job feeding and looking after your little girl!

My little girl sucks her hands a lot of the time (she is 8 months), and always has- I think she does it for comfort.

I hope you find a group near you and can find a great group of Mum's to journey together with through being a Mum.

Oh, and I think your English is pretty good! :)
DS Feb 2012
DD Sept 2014

DigDig
Posts: 380
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:29 pm

Re: Am I worried too much? :(

Post by DigDig » Thu May 28, 2015 5:27 pm

Mummy woo! wrote:
Heidi-N wrote:Thank you for all your support. Yes, sometimes It seems that problems are all from me, not my little girl. I really want to stop worrying, and then enjoy my new life with her, but... And yes, you are right, may be because of my difficult labour, or maybe I feel lonely here (im not Australian, we came here 3 years ago for my husband's job - therefore, sorry because of my bad English). Even a small thing can make me feel anxious. For example: my breast is soft, or my baby falls asleep after 5-10 mins when feeding, but still latches on and sometimes sucks, but not swallow, or she still sucks her hand and mouth after feeding... She rarely crys, and if she does, its more like she is tired and sleeply than hungry. BUT I always think about hungry first. Seems like it is really something wrong with me. :(
Heidi, there is nothing wrong with you. We are bombarded with messages from advertising and popular culture that women have lots and lots of trouble breastfeeding and frequently can't make enough milk. But we know those messages are just not true. Most women can make milk for their babies and make enough. Sadly, many women believe there is something wrong with their bodies because of all of those negative messages about breastfeeding and because it is hard to know when things are OK with a newborn baby - they can't tell you what is happening!

It is also really common to feel anxious in the early days of learning to be a mum. It is something we all want to do well at, there are so many messages about what we should be doing and there is not as much support for mums as there should be. You mentioned moving here for your partner's work so you may not be aware that your GP can usually refer you on to services for new mums in your local community where you can access additional support. Some of that support is free for all mums and some will be covered by your health insurance - you might need to ask some questions about that.

And get along to an ABA meeting - meet some other mums and talk with a counsellor face to face. You can find a group near you here - we get together, talk about a breastfeeding topic and have morning tea - it's great.
THIS.
DD - BF 23 months 4 1/2yrs
DD2 - BFeeding

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