thinking i should bottle feed and it breaks my heart

Breastfeeding does not always work out, this is a place to discuss your situation and feelings
lj80
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thinking i should bottle feed and it breaks my heart

Post by lj80 » Wed Mar 14, 2012 5:54 pm

this is my second bub and i had planed to have a vbac i lost 30kg in pre for this pregnacy got on top of my health and kept as healthy as i could through this pregnacy went to the gym and yoga even though i morning sickness for 9 months. went into labour and laboured for 2 days to only end up exhusted with complications and an emergacy c/section (thats it for me ill NEVER be able to try for a vaginal delivery now) althought that was bitter but the sweet came holding my big girl 4.5kg! i held fer 15 min afer her delivery and didnt let her go for hours i feed her her every moment i could and it took almost a week for my milk to really come in but i was so pleased and excited when it did every wet and dirty nappy has filled me with pride she was being feed by me alone but 2 weeks old and she is well under her birth weight still. she has lost 45gr in 5 days with no change in her nappies or the amount she feeds. i feel like ive failed why cant i seem to birth my babies or feed them? i have an underactive thyroid which i have carfuly managed and i have POCS so maybe i should just feel blessed that i have two beatiful children and stop being so upset that feeding is not working and just put her on the bottle
the maternal health nurse was so unhelpful i dont even know what to do if i do start bottle feeding her?

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Andypandy
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Post by Andypandy » Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:05 pm

Hugs. I am sorry you did not get the birth you wanted. I think the recommendation is gaining their birth weight by 3 weeks old? I am not 100% sure though.

I think you should call a breastfeeding counsellor on 1800 686 268. A trained counsellor will be able to reassure you and give you some suggestions if needed.
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Post by Gwen's Mum » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:00 pm

It sounds like you've had a really tough time of it - ((hugs)). I second Andypandy's suggestion to call the helpline counsellors - I called them a LOT in the first few months of breastfeeding DD, and they were able to offer some great suggestions and lots of reassurance.

FWIW, my DD didn't regain her birthweight until 4 weeks - but I think they generally look at about 3 weeks as a rule of thumb.
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JMc
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Post by JMc » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:11 pm

Hugs. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I think feeding a baby when things are not going fantastically is one of the hardest things. It's so easy to doubt yourself.

It took 3 weeks for DD to regain her birthweight. I was very tempted to use the bottle, but too stubborn to (I topped up with EBM).

Could you try things to boost your supply? Having a feeding holiday (stay in bed with bub and just feed and sleep), lots of skin to skin contact, feed whenever she squeaks, top up at the breast 20-30minutes after a feed, express? Or maybe (I don't know if this would be a good idea, maybe ring the hotline first) could you give her ABM once a day, but keep breastfeeding as well? Hopefully you don't have to give up feeding all together, especially as you really don't seem to want to.
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Esther
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Post by Esther » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:18 pm

Yup, generally the average is 3 weeks to regain birthweight. As that's the average, some take less, some take more.

Hugs, it sounds like such a difficult time for you at the minute. Please do call or email a counsellor to go through everything that's happening. It also sounds like having a session with a lactation consultant could be really good too. You can find one in your local area here

http://www.lcanz.org/find-a-consultant.htm

Sometimes it's not that we, the mum, can't feed our baby, but there might be an issue for bub that's making it hard for them, or something else outside both of you. There's some great suggestions that other mums have given you here as well that would definitely be worth a shot.

I know there are some other mums on here with underactive thyroid conditions who have used a supplemental nursing system to feed their babies. That way you can help boost your supply, while your DD gets milk. There's a bit more info here

https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-inf ... pplementer

Are there any other options for CHNs in your area? I know here that there can be lovely ones just working in local pharmacies who can help you with all sorts of feeding issues.

Good luck, please let us know how you're going?
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Lilypad
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Post by Lilypad » Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:38 pm

What everyone else has said. Please call the counsellors.

But offering heaps of support.
You are not a failure, many of us have had, or still have similar problems. You are doing your best.

lj80
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Post by lj80 » Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:04 am

thank you all for your advice and incoragement its been a warm night here in melbourne so ive been up feeding quite abit. ive spoken to my LC this morning she was also my midwife and she seems to feel that because my girl was so big when she was born she will now be slower to gain and because her nappies are pretty goo and her head and height have grown that i shouldnt worry. i think ill still go see my gp today as i have the appointment and my husband who can drive me (dam c-sections)
i really want to bf my baby but i dont want to be doing the wrong thing by her

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Mummy woo!
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Post by Mummy woo! » Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:55 pm

The others have given you some great suggestions, my only other contribution would be to remember that different scales can give very different readings - even the same scales can give incorrect readings if not used correctly. Weight gain is only one indicator of your supply, and given it can be difficult to measure accurately, not always a very helpful one.
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foxforcefive
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Post by foxforcefive » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:09 pm

Just something else to think about - for some babies, their weight can be artificially higher at birth than what is really is, esp if the mother receives IV fluids during labour. This means that they seem to lose a lot of weight early on, when in fact the baby is just getting back to what his/her weight should have been. If you're interested, there is an article about it here: http://www.internationalbreastfeedingjo ... tent/6/1/9.

You're doing great! Forumites and the Helpline counsellors are very happy to be your cheer squad!
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Post by Penguin » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:07 pm

I'm sorry you've had such a rough start. I just wanted to offer my support to you and commend you on your efforts so far. I too think that you should call a counsellor. If your baby's nappies are fine then you're probably doing well.

I too had a dreadful morning sickness the whole time, very long labour, an emergency CS and a 4kg + bub. I didn't get my little girl back for about 5 hours, so I know what you mean about hanging on!

Welcome to the forum too, I hope you hang around!
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lj80
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Post by lj80 » Sat Mar 17, 2012 7:36 am

thanks everyone for your support i forgot how lonly and isolating it can feel having a new born
last weekend things felt like dd was settling into a good routine feed about every three hours then im not sure if was the warmer weather you the doubt that came into play but since wednesday its been almost none stop feeding and not a heap of sleep for either of us feeling extremly overwhelmed still waiting to hear back from an aba counceler or my LC i now really doubt my supply as dd just seems to want to b on the breast constantly although she dosent always seem to be feeding effectivly im feeling very overwhelmed and wonder if i should loads the kids in the pram and just go get a dam tin of formula then maybe we can all get sum rest

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Otty
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Post by Otty » Sat Mar 17, 2012 8:08 am

Sounds like you're really tired and struggling a bit at the moment. It's very common for newborn babies to go through phases of feeding very frequently like your DD. Wait until you have her weighed before you question your supply.

Do you have any family close by who can help out so you can get some extra rest? Just be aware that feeding your baby some formula at this point may cause your supply to drop off a bit.
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lj80
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Post by lj80 » Sat Mar 17, 2012 8:50 am

im spending hours and hours feeding everyday she is 2 1/2 weeks old will it get less time intensive? should i assume if she has fallen asleep she now has had her fill?

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Andypandy
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Post by Andypandy » Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:24 am

It will get less intensive. My son fed ALL say when he was tiny. By 10 weeks, he was still doing about 12 feeds in 24 hours but the feeds were only 10 mins instead of 45. He gradually started spacing feeds more as well.
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Esther
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Post by Esther » Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:49 am

Yes, you will find that feeding becomes a much less intensive and time consuming process as your daughter grows. If she's asleep, then I'd think she's probably had enough for now too. Sometimes they "cluster feed", where they have lots of little feeds over several hours, and then a big sleep. It can happen any time of the day. Late afternoon and evening is traditional, but other bubbas do it in the morning, the middle of the night or during the day.
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