Amazing how much damage myths can do...

Breastfeeding does not always work out, this is a place to discuss your situation and feelings
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TheSlayer
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Amazing how much damage myths can do...

Post by TheSlayer » Fri Nov 25, 2011 9:46 pm

Just very sad tonight.

History has repeated itself and someone close to me has again ended her breastfeeding relationship before the baby is two weeks of age. All because of things that were said to her with her first baby that made her believe she can't breastfeed. Those long-held beliefs, which are totally incorrect, have sadly worked against her succeeding at breastfeeding for a third time.

Poor education from health professionals/hospitals; no access to an LC; unsupportive spouse; myths being shared that make normal newborn behaviour be considered 'problems' - it's all set someone up to fail and it just makes me so SAD. It didn't have to be like that this time... :(

I gave her two years subscription to the ABA (appears that will now be cancelled); and lots of links and avenues to find support - it was too late even before bub was home from the hospital. Completely inaccurate things were said to her five years ago, which has shaped her whole behaviour and beliefs about feeding with every child since.

It really proves to me the importance of Breastfeeding Educators, ABA Mum's Groups and a supportive spouse. If not for those things, I wouldn't have succeeded either.

I know it's not my concern and that it's none of my business - but I just know that things could have been SO different, if she'd gotten the support and accurate information about newborns and feeding that she needed way back when she was pregnant and in the early days with her first child.
Proud storker for Katsbi's and PrincessSpud's youngest princesses!

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s squirrel
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Post by s squirrel » Fri Nov 25, 2011 10:15 pm

I think sometimes it can just depend on the person too.
I was quite ill when PG
And had NOOO idea about ABA untill I found the forum when DD was 3/4 weeks old.
I had huge oversupply and a tiny 5lb 9oz bubba and the boobs that SHRaNk during my PG suddenly where HUGE :shock:
Every single feed for the first 12/13 weeks hurt, some were teeth clenching, tear inducing feeds. But it worked - both DD and I worked at it.

My mum fessed up to me when DD was about 18mths old, that she never thought I'd be able to BF, because I'd been so I'll when PG!!
Glad she didn't tell me that at the beginning - I may have been rude to her 8)
I feed DD untill 2.5yo :-D

Maybe it was luck
Maybe I am determined (pigheaded) :wink:
Maybe I didn't get to have the PG I wanted, so I worked extra hard to have the BFing that I wanted

???

Hugs TS
Xoxox
If you can't fly, then run,
if you can't run, then walk,
if you can't walk, then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to keep moving
forward.... – MLK

KarenMac
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Post by KarenMac » Sat Nov 26, 2011 8:09 am

:(

I totally relate to having a b*tch of a time feeding DD1. It was horrendous from the start and, like s squirrel, I had huge oversupply and every feed was painful until she was about 3 months old. I really don't know what kept me going...

The ABA phone counsellors, definitely, drop-in feeding clinics at local community health centres, definitely, a wonderfully supportive husband and just plain, simple brute stubbornness :lol:

TBH, if you are determined enough you can make it happen but, even if there's just a small seed of self doubt, then the more access to support you have, the better.

I'm so sad for you that all the help you offered was to no avail.
DD1 - 21/07/08 - Breastfed for 12 challenging months
DD2 - 27/10/10 - Breastfed for a blissful 17 months

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Otty
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Post by Otty » Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:14 am

It's a shame...
I have had a hard time feeding my LO who is now 7 months old but I'm still going!
Thanks to this forum, ABA counselors, a supportive pro bf CFHN, and a supportive partner, I have not weaned even though at times my confidence has been very low. I have struggled with low weight gains, supply issues, breast refusal and my mother who formula fed and told me I was being selfish by continuing to bf.
As I overcome each hurdle and realize that I have a happy, healthy, bright and active baby who is meeting all his milestones, my confidence grows and I'm sooo happy that I'm still breastfeeding. :D
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Welcome baby Alice!

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Feebes
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Post by Feebes » Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:58 am

I'm too bloody stubborn to be formula feeding. But I was/am super lucky to have a great pro breastfeedig support network. I told four&out even BEFORE DD2 was conceived that I WAS going to breastfeed and that if at anytime I thought about putting that baby on the bottle to quickly talk me out of it PRONTO!

It is honestly all about education, support and the pros giving out the right information.

Less than two weeks is better than none I guess. :?

Feebes
DD 02
DS 05
DD2 2010

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TheSlayer
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Post by TheSlayer » Sat Nov 26, 2011 12:18 pm

And that's exactly what we said to them - the colostrum was a fantastic start; and every drop of breastmilk counted. Because that is absolutely, 100%, positively true.

It's just so sad that she couldn't get the right information or support from those that counted in her life to keep going... :(
Proud storker for Katsbi's and PrincessSpud's youngest princesses!

Cristina
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Coping with disappointment

Post by Cristina » Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:54 pm

Dear Slayer,
Keep your chin up...you did the best you can. The mum did the best she could with her circumstances. I agree with the others that you do need an amount of stubbornness and determination to keep breastfeeding when things are working against you. I had no breastfeeding goals when I joined ABA and it changed as I went along. First 12 months then 2 years and then it was whenever we are ready to stop. My son ended up being almost 4 (stopped just before he started Kindy). The main thing is that you and your child/children are happy and healthy. Some people just cannot cope with the idea of long term breastfeeding. But as long as it is good for the mother's health and the child's then we can educate that there are good reasons for it.
That's my strategy!

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