Not working for us - made it to 1 year!

Breastfeeding does not always work out, this is a place to discuss your situation and feelings
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Claire
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Post by Claire » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:21 pm

Dolly wrote: I found my supply kept increasing until 4 months. At 3 months I dropped from 7 to 6 sessions, then at 4 months to 5 which maintained the increased amount.
This is encouraging for me. I hope mine keeps going up. It has had a big drop today, but I am feeling really tired and it was my grandfather's funeral, so lots of emotions and stress to get in the way of supply. All I wanted to do all day was feed DD, so I put her on tonight when she was unsettled and she hasn't forgotten! :) It was only a little top up feed but I feel better too.
And I hear you on the online shopping
Glad I'm not the only one! :) I should open that parcel of bamboo fabric that arrived...
My two DC blessings:
DS born early @ 26 wks bf 3 years 1 day
DD bf 3 years 2 months.

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Claire
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Post by Claire » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:22 pm

Another update...

We saw the paed yesterday. DD has gained 325g - which is actually 50% of the total she has gained since birth. So I guess this probably proves that she was not absorbing nutrients from my milk. The volume she is drinking has increased only marginally, so its not like she was having a heap of extra feeds to achieve that.

So the plan this week is to reintroduce breastmilk - we are doing half-half. I've been doing that today but she is really unsettled (by which I mean hysterical). I know she's getting enough, so I'm worried that there is something in the milk that is irritating her - she seems to have wind pain. I'm off dairy and nuts and haven't had wheat since Wed (I was thinking wheat as I ate a fair bit on Tues and her ezcema broke out badly on Wed). I'll just see how that goes for now.

Her reflux is really bad - an average feed requires 4 bibs and two clothing changes - and that doesnt count the adults who also require new clothes. The paed has medicated her, but I didn't ask how long it takes to work. Tonight she threw up the entire dose of medication, which I gave to her just before her feed. It is very frustrating!

We have an appt with the brestfeeding clinic on the 20th (unless they have an earlier cancellation). Really I'm wondering if its worth persevering. I'm now getting some breast refusal as well and I feel too tired to work through that. I've been thinking of just setting some regular expressing times and then feeding her whatever I get and top up with formula. For the moment I'll keep trying what I'm doing and then reassess after we've been to the clinic and seen the paed again. I guess I just never expected that my DD would get to three months old and not be breastfeeding. :cry:
My two DC blessings:
DS born early @ 26 wks bf 3 years 1 day
DD bf 3 years 2 months.

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mooki
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Post by mooki » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:27 pm

Youre doing a fantastic job Claire.

Poor little munchkin, it must be very frustrating and uncomfortable.

It would be great if you could get in earlier to the BF clinic.

lots of *hugs* for you

Dolly
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Post by Dolly » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:53 pm

Glad she is gaining some weight.
Sorry things are so rough.
D
DD1 L 03/04 BF
DD2 A 10/06 BF
DD3 O 10/09 EBM has CP

'It is survival and desire to be happy that drive mothers of disabled/ill children, not bravery or some strange need for martyrdom.'

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Andrew's Mum
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Post by Andrew's Mum » Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:21 pm

Claire, you're doing a brilliant job in very difficult circumstances. Sucks big time that what should have been your easy feed baby hasn't turned out to be :cry: :cry:
Are you able to see an allergy friendly dietitican to get some help with your diet and maybe suggestions for what to safely cut out that may be useful for DD?
Mummys breast make milk
Special milk for me

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Feebes
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Post by Feebes » Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:07 pm

Oh Claire, its not getting any easier for you is it. Sucks!

I am frustrated for you, something that your body had made for your baby isn't working! :cry:

Take lots of care, how is J doing?

Feebes
DD 02
DS 05
DD2 2010

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Claire
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Post by Claire » Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:06 pm

Andrew's Mum wrote: Are you able to see an allergy friendly dietitican to get some help with your diet and maybe suggestions for what to safely cut out that may be useful for DD?
I think I'm ok on that front. I have studied nutrition before so I have a reasonable idea about balancing things out. I also see a naturopath so he helps with supplements and diet which is good. I realised I have been wheat free (I shouldn't be having it anyway) for about 4 or 5 days now and she seems to be happier. No more screaming after BM - which is good but also makes me unhappy in terms of what that might mean. I have discovered a new premix chocolate brownie mix that is dairy, wheat and nut free and just to die for! Luckily it is not available at my local supermarket so I have to go out of my way to get it or I could be in big trouble.

So we are trying the breastfeeding again. I just cant give up! She is back on the 4.30-5am ish feed and doing really well. She is only feeding off one breast (cause there is heaps of milk) and then going about 4 hours to the next feed. I am expressing off the other one. I have tried her several times during the day today - not for full feeds, but top ups in between feeds and she has done well with that. Her reflux has been bad, but I am starting to notice that it is not as bad with BM as it is with the prescription formula. I'm going to ask for a different formula, but if she has had another decent weight gain this week, I'm going to take her off the formula altogether till we see the paed again.

And we got an earlier appt at the breastfeeding clinic - only 2 days earlier, but its earlier! So we are in for Monday, unless they get a spot for Thursday or Friday this week.
Feebes wrote:Take lots of care, how is J doing?
He is doing better since I started expressing 3 hourly instead of 2. But he is still very frustrated that his mum spends time with the pump and not as time much with him. I try to schedule activities he likes but sometimes he wont cooperate. He still says I shouldn't have had another baby, but then two seconds later he is smothering her with kisses!
My two DC blessings:
DS born early @ 26 wks bf 3 years 1 day
DD bf 3 years 2 months.

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Samby
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Post by Samby » Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:59 pm

Claire I a so proud of you for hanging in there :) Hopefully the bf clinic can help. If J wants a playdate with C let me know .

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Serendipity
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Post by Serendipity » Sat Oct 16, 2010 2:19 pm

Hi Claire,

Wishing you luck for the clinic! Your story continues to amaze and inspire me :D
Also apologies for not coming through with the Indian sweet recipe yet... my MIL (english as fourth language) said she couldn't tell me how to make it, but she'll make it with me watching, and the opportunity hasn't arisen... however, if this wet weather keeps up, it may happen this weekend! (Going a little nuts.)

Thinking of you & DD. You are both very strong and impressive!
Genevieve Nisha - Feb 09
Rohan Teja Hira - Sept 11
Kiran John (stillborn) & Jocelyn Tara Alison - May 14

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Claire
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Post by Claire » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:32 pm

No worries Serendipity - sounds like a good recipe, always are when you just go with instinct or experience!

Well we went to the clinic today. Not sure what we achieved really. :? My goal was to have a relaxed environment where we could just focus on feeding (no phone, no internet, no dogs, no kids, no interruptions!), which we had. First feed went ok. She settled for about 45 mins afterwards, but that was it for the day. Fed again and she was back to her old falling asleep on the breast, not taking enough routine. Tried a few different things to distract her, tried again 30 mins later, same again. She falls asleep then cries she hasn't had enough (I can distinguish between her hungry, sleepy and nappy change cries now). So we went for top ups, as she didn't even have a wet nappy. She was unsettled for the rest of the day and didnt sleep all day which is not like her - I think she was trying to catch up on her feeds so I ended up EBM feeding for the rest of the day and she finally fell asleep at 8.30pm.

I guess I will just try increasing her breast feeds each day. So now she gets her 4-5am feed as a full breastfeed. Some mornings she will do an 8-8.30am one really well, but other mornings wont settle or finish the feed. So I will try breastfeeding in the mornings and try and improve her there before pushing her in the afternoons. I am also putting her on after I express when she's awake so she can finish off for me and stimulate my supply.

I dont really know what else to try now...she's just not an efficient feeder. I'm thinking about a supply line, but I'm not sure if I can manage it.

Paed saw her and was fairly happy. She has had a reasonable weight gain despite having a cold last week. I took her off formula (we were doing half half for one week) when she got the cold so she could get as many antibodies as possible. I gave her a bottle of formula on Sat and she reacted to it - I thought it was just a coincidence, so gave her 24 hours before trying another one and same reaction. This is the prescription formula. So paed agrees to put her back on full breastmilk - which was what we were aiming for anyway. I have enough in the freezer to keep us going for a few weeks, but then I dont think my supply will keep up with her when that runs out, so we will address the formula issue again when we go back for the next review.

I had a good sleep yesterday - 9 hours overnight. I left it for DD to wake me up after she has been waking at 5 am everyday, but she didnt. So I didnt express which made me feel guilty, but I did catch up on a lot of sleep and I still feel better today and feel like I can do this for another week. So I guess the sleep in had its benefit for a once off.
My two DC blessings:
DS born early @ 26 wks bf 3 years 1 day
DD bf 3 years 2 months.

Dolly
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Post by Dolly » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:41 pm

Claire wrote: I had a good sleep yesterday - 9 hours overnight. I left it for DD to wake me up after she has been waking at 5 am everyday, but she didnt. So I didnt express which made me feel guilty, but I did catch up on a lot of sleep and I still feel better today and feel like I can do this for another week. So I guess the sleep in had its benefit for a once off.
I found sleep to be great for my supply. If babe or boobs didn't wake me I never got up just to express. As O is a good night sleeper and my boobs adjust quickly I don't think I got up after about 7 weeks. Hope you get more good night sleeps. Makes every thing seem so much more manageable.

*hugs*
DD1 L 03/04 BF
DD2 A 10/06 BF
DD3 O 10/09 EBM has CP

'It is survival and desire to be happy that drive mothers of disabled/ill children, not bravery or some strange need for martyrdom.'

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Feebes
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Post by Feebes » Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:51 pm

That is wonderful that you got to catch up on sleep! Wow 9 hours!!! Bliss!

At least there is a couple of good feeds happening, that is a big plus!

Its great that the paed is supportive and is pleased with weight gain etc.

Feebes
DD 02
DS 05
DD2 2010

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Claire
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Post by Claire » Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:09 pm

Well I thought I would update again...Last week I tried starting the day with breastfeeds, but she wouldn't take enough, as usual. So she'd have her 5-6am feed, then she'd wake at 9am for another feed, then feed at 10, 11 and go onto EBM at 12pm. I tried this for 3 days, but she was never settled, even after I'd put her back on to EBM feeds for the afternoon. On the fourth day I just put her back on EBM and she slept all day, like a catch up on sleep - which is when I realised a few things. She had not been sleeping well at all for the previous 3 days, which totally threw her as she is a good sleeper. And, when she is tired she feeds poorly and doesnt take enough, when she doesnt get enough she feeds poorly and so on.

So on Sunday she woke up and I thought I'd just try her again. She had a great feed! Took 45 mins, but she came off really happy and played for about 30mins. Then she gave me her tired cry so I put her back on and she fed to sleep and went 3 hours between feeds. I had a shower! :) (not a 3 hour one!) She did this again yesterday (though I didnt get another shower :oops:) and I tried again today but it was not quite as successful. Tomorrow is out as I'm going to help at kinder so I have to leave her with my mum with EBM as this is time that DS needs.

So I weighed her today. She has only put on 90g in 8 days. It felt like more. :( She really needs to gain 100g per week to stay on her curve or she is going to keep on dropping down and she is already at the very bottom of the charts. I know she needs more but I cant seem to get it into her.

She is never going to fully breastfeed. I just cant see it happening. :( Guess I will just focus on my supply.
My two DC blessings:
DS born early @ 26 wks bf 3 years 1 day
DD bf 3 years 2 months.

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momi
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Post by momi » Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:14 pm

reading your post made me feel like things were improving! i'm glad she is having some great feeds.

big hugs

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JC
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Post by JC » Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:59 pm

*hugs*
DS born July 2006; continued until 5
DD born November 2009; until 4

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