Is it a phase or time to bring in the bottle fulltime?

Breastfeeding does not always work out, this is a place to discuss your situation and feelings
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Is it a phase or time to bring in the bottle fulltime?

Post by Suzy1987 » Wed Nov 25, 2015 10:32 pm

Hi ladies, I need to vent... From day 1 we've had breastfeeding issues. Oliver was born 4 weeks early (spontaneous birth) and struggled to latch properly so we used a nipple shield a lot which didn't really help with stimulating my supply. Due to his size and weight gain we were encouraged by the nurses at the hospital and by the MACH nurses to breast and bottle (was giving EBM) to build his weight. It took 3 months hard work, a lip an tongue tie cut and lots of trial and error to get to a good place with it. Now a week out from 6 months I'm ready to just give it up and forget about it. For something so natural I never expected it to be so hard. No one ever tells you the bad or hard stories of BF, you're just told its best, ads show mums and babies smiling and enjoying it not a care or issue in the world. But I never got the bonding feeling, ive never enjoyed it, ive found it to be a pain in the arse to be quite honest. It did not live up to the hype or expect ion I had. I'm extremely disappointed and I feel let down and mislead by the institution. I do not feel like a failure or that I'm failing my son. I do not feel that I'm a bad mother, I'm just frustrated and lost as to what to do and how to do it. I have no issue with bottle feeding. The last few weeks Oliver has had some serious feeding issues resulting in me losing my shit coz im so frustrated or screaming out in pain coz he's clamped down and started thrashing his head around. The morning feeds are perfect! First feed of the day he feeds approx 10 mins a side and falls of on his own usually blabbering away (which makes me smile and gush over his cuteness) but as the day progresses feeds become a lot more hard work and really stressful. He can feed for as little as 2 mins a side, refuse to eat from the left breast, whinges, cries and fusses for no reason, won't latch, bites, but loses his shit if I sit him up to burp him and throws himself into my chest looking for boob, but just carries on when I try to latch him again. I've been giving him formula to ensure he's getting enough water and calories. He has purée as well most days (after a feed/attempted feed - 2-3 times a day) But I'm just at my wits end with it all and don't know what to do... also my husband doesn't seem to be ready for Oliver to stop being breastfed - he's always encouraged and insisted on me persevering and doing what I can to build up my supply and to just keep going. Could this be a phase and I'm just being a big girl over it all and just need to suck it up? Is Oliver wheening? Do I just start bottle feeding (EBM and/or formula)? Feeling defeated and lost.

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Re: Is it a phase or time to bring in the bottle fulltime?

Post by Jenbt85 » Thu Nov 26, 2015 5:12 pm

Hi Suzy1987 :) Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your bub!

It sounds like it was a really difficult start to breastfeeding and you've done really well to get this far. I agree that the harder breastfeeding experiences don't always get aired. I personally was amazed at the amount of work it was to get it established first time round (second time was fine).

The ABA helpline is fantastic and the trained counsellors will be able to give you tailored advice on what could be happening with the feeds. The helpline number is 1800 686 268 and if you're a member, you can access email counselling too.

If it helps, babies can go through a distracted phase around this age and then settle down again. However you choose to feed your son from here on, I hope that things get easier for you both. :)
DS - bf 18.5 months (565 days)!
DD - breastfeeding

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