to tandem feed or not to?

For discussion of issues related to breastfeeding an older baby/child
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to tandem feed or not to?

Post by killlerbeechloe » Sat Apr 25, 2015 6:21 pm

Just wanting to hear your experiences with tandem feeding please.

I'm 15w pregnant and still feeding my 3.5yo. He'll be 4 when baby arrives. I night weaned him last Christmas, which pretty much sticks with a few exceptions here and there, but he does feed about 2-3 times before we get up (e.g. 530, 630, 700) and then 1-2 times during the day (very quick) and then at bedtime. This is from me instigating 5x during the day, and I plan to move to 3x soon (on waking, lunch, bed time).

I've heard some really mixed things from friends re their TF experience, but overall it sounds like it's very hard for the first few months. I've also heard kids can be down to 1-2 feeds but then demand all the time when baby arrives.
I am kinda hoping he loses interest as my milk dries up, but then again he's the kind of kid who probably won't.

I feel scared either way, of ending it soon, and not having it as a tool for his very intense meltdowns, but then he's so strong willed and I just cannot imagine him accepting his brother or sister being fed and he not getting one.

I really don't know what to do. He's said that when they arrive he wants to share it with then which is sweet, but I've not know how to respond bc I'm so unsure myself.


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Re: to tandem feed or not to?

Post by Penguin » Sat Apr 25, 2015 7:17 pm

You post sounds very similar to mine...

I have little advice to give, but here are my threads if you're interested. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=87386 viewtopic.php?f=19&t=87938

Good luck! The only thing I can suggest is that things may well sort themselves out - if you're happy with the 'wait and see' approach, then it can be a good one for situations like this.
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Re: to tandem feed or not to?

Post by strolltotheshops » Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:46 pm

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I've been tandem (and tri and quad) feeding for years. No, really, it has been years :D. We have five children, so I've fed (one, or two, or three) children thorough four pregnancies.

I believe, for our family, tandem feeding is heaps easier than expediting weaning would be. I have had pretty bad feeding aversion during some pregnancies, but it's still way simpler than not feeding.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

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Re: to tandem feed or not to?

Post by killlerbeechloe » Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:33 pm

Thanks to you both for your replies and insights.
Yeah I kind of am a wait and see person, but then sometimes I think a little more pre-planning would have been a good idea.
I'm trying to factor in this temperament too, and work out what will be best overall.
Strolltotheshops, how have your older kids coped with setting limits re number and duration of feeds? Mine is the type you can have a reasonable conversation about it and then think all's ok, but when push comes to shove he struggles with accepting limits. Night weaning took months before it settled down, weeks later he's still protest really strongly. I'm blown away by his will and assertiveness sometimes.
Penguin how did your daughter cope when your new baby arrived?
I do think, if I'm on the couch feeding the baby anyway, why not let him join in? But then I feel that wouldn't it be nice to have this as just one on one as I've had with my son,and there are going to be so many more distractions second time around.
It's hard to let go of all these things that may or may not be issues, spending way too much time worrying!

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