thinking about weaning

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fellare
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thinking about weaning

Post by fellare » Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:44 am

I'm rather sick of feeding ds. It hurts, as if his tongue got sandpaper on it, he swaps every 20 seconds, for at least 15 times per feed. He still wants to tweak my other nipple. Even smacking his hand hadn't stopped his persistence :oops:
he wants it all the time. 3-4 feeds at night, hourly during the day. I do refuse, I'm over it. But he's persistent and I find the tears hard to see. Of course, he starts pinching and hitting when I say no.
It often feels like there is nothing there. I've got nothing to give I feel empty. I don't know if this is even possible and there is always milk there when I squeeze.

It's been like this for months now. It's not new. It does get worst with periods, but it's never good.

I've tried to reduce feeds. It's stress for a week to get there and it takes a week to revert back.

So I'm not sure what to do. I really want to keep feeding until he's 5 and tandem feed. But not if it's like this. I fear a pregnancy will make it much worst again.
I want to enjoy our feeds.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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PellyintheWilderness
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by PellyintheWilderness » Tue Nov 18, 2014 8:57 am

He's nearly 3, and you've done so well, to be able to feed him for this long. If you feel like you've had enough, that's OK. I'm sorry I can't offer any suggestions about how to reduce feeds because mine have all been happy to drop feeds.
With the sandpaper tongue thing, is it possible that the skin on your nipples is damaged in some way, or is there something about his mouth that might be causing you discomfort? Can you teach him more comfortable ways to suck?
Pinching and hitting isn't good. How do you feel about using gentle but forcible restraint to stop him from doing that? Perhaps holding him on your lap, facing out so that the boobs aren't "in his face" and holding his wrists until he is ready to stop hurting you?
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DS1 May 2005 bf 37 months
DS2 Nov 2011 bf 36 months
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fellare
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by fellare » Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:44 am

I do that. Or I walk away saying no feeds until you stop hurting. Usually gentle, but sometimes I run out of patience, after asking 10 times not to touch the other breast.
I don't know. After ex has pretty much given up on him, I'm really struggling. I've had enough. I want to just give up too.

Might call help line about the tongue. We've never had good latch due to interventions and undiagnosed lip tie (which got fixed)
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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fellare
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by fellare » Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:30 am

I wonder if his tonsils are swollen, making it harder to latch. They are quite big, but I don't know what normal is.

We got to see the gp about his iron soon anyway. I'll get her to have a look.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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PellyintheWilderness
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by PellyintheWilderness » Tue Nov 18, 2014 11:09 am

I can imagine that being a single parent makes it all much more difficult. Big hugs.
Proud co-storker for AndyPandy (with mooki)
Proud co-storker for Jenbt85 (with AussieBritLu)

DD May 2005 bf 12 months
DS1 May 2005 bf 37 months
DS2 Nov 2011 bf 36 months
DS3 Nov 2011 bf 38 months

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MamaMagoO?
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by MamaMagoO? » Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:35 pm

I can relate but DD doesn't feed as much as your DS. I do think that so ney kids get lazy with their attachment as they get older. I have had this problem with both of mine. I often have to ask DD to use a big mouth and if it still hurts I'll ask her to come off and try again. Aty this age you can explain to them that they are hurting you and what they can do to fix it, could limiting the time at each feed maybe with a count down to the end help you? Or maybe set a limit of one breast swap per feed rather than letting him go back and forth. If you want to cut down on the number of feeds per day you could try introducing what we call 'booby tickets'. Cut out little pieces of card and decorate them somehow so they are special. Then you decide how many feeds you'd be happy with in a day and give him that many tickets each morning that he can trade in for a feed. After a while you might like to start giving him less each day.
Little Magoo 07/08. Breastfed for 3yrs3mths.
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fellare
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by fellare » Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:15 pm

I had a good look at my nipples today. One has a slight cut. about 5mm long, but I don't think very deep, on the side of the tip. The other has bits peeling off the top. No wonder it hurts! And to top it off, ds jumped off my lap while latched on and I nearly punched him it hurt that much!

gah. I don't know what to do. I'm over breastfeeding him. But I also want him to get the nutrients and benefits that I'm not sure how to provide otherwise (I don't want to replace it with a different, less superior milk).
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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fellare
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Re: thinking about weaning

Post by fellare » Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:24 pm

Was at the gp today and he said ds his tonsils are slightly swollen. Would that explain a shallow latch?
The gp was clueless, didn't even realise I was talking about breat feeding, in spite of ds feeding right there and then!

He started talking about breast milk displacing other important nutrients, so I had to sey him straight. Other kids get animal breast milk, I'm doing nothing wrong.

So not much help at all!
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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