How grown children act post-weaning

For discussion of issues related to breastfeeding an older baby/child
Post Reply
Aurora
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:11 pm

How grown children act post-weaning

Post by Aurora » Mon Nov 16, 2015 8:08 am

For those who have fed until around age 3, how have your children been long term in regards to your breasts, say at age 8 or 10? Have they been silly about it, or still wanted to find comfort there, or been fine with just normal cuddles?
So you know the context of my question, I'm feeding my just turned 3 year old, who is very very keen on "susu", and doesn't show any signs of wanting to wean. I had always said I wanted my children to self wean, but I've been getting nursing aversion quite often recently so finding feeding my 3yo pretty unpleasant.
He is my eldest so I don't know what it's like to have an 8 yo, but the idea of him still finding comfort there really grosses me out. I guess I don't want the length of my bf now to impact negatively on my relationship with him later.
Anyone been through something similar?

User avatar
Parla.
Counsellor
Posts: 1938
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:51 pm

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by Parla. » Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:13 am

Just my experience, but I breastfed my children until they were 2 or 3, and they're now not a whole lot older (less than 8 ) but have no particular interest. The older one in particular believes it's "for babies".

I hear you about the aversion too, had it with both - have you found anything that helps?
Speak to a breastfeeding counsellor anytime - 1800 686 268

The Penguin chick is a very proud big sister 8)

User avatar
MamaMagoO?
Posts: 4492
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:58 am
Location: In my own little world most of the time

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by MamaMagoO? » Mon Nov 16, 2015 10:02 am

My eldest weaned at 3 and is now 7. He likes to snuggle into my chest and stroke my breasts at times for comfort. But not very often and I'm fine with it as long as he keeps his hands outside my clothes. I think, as with so many things parentingwise, its about establishing boundaries that you feel comfortable with ans work for your family. DS knows not to stick his hand down my top and fiddle with my nipples, although I daresay he'd like to at times. He sometimes asks for a feed when his little sister is having one and I just say no. He did self wean but I think it was a little premature. His sister had just been born and my milk had come in and he didn't like the change in flavour so he stopped. But he really missed it.

I'm really hearing you about wanting to let them self wean but you are getting over it and having aversion. I'm going through similar with my just-turned-4yr old. I have encouraged her to cut down to 1 feed a day but she is pretty determined to hang onto that last feed and sometimes argues with me that she needs more. I did find that some mummy-led partial weaning helped with the aversion. I dropped the feeds that were irritating me the most. I night weaned when she was 3, can't remember exactly how long ago but I know I posted about it on the forum so I should look for it. It was surprisingly easy. Then I asked DH to put her to bed and we weaned her off the bedtime feed that way. I think most of the daytime feeds had already been dropped naturally by that stage. Again its about establishing some boundaries.

Hope that helps.

edited to add: YOu may find that you feel much less uncomfortable than you think with an 8 yr old taking comfort from your breasts too. Its like how I could never imagine breastfeeding a child older than 1 when my first was a baby, then when he was 1 it seemed the most natural thing in the world to keep feeding him and now it feels normal and natural for him to be able to snuggle in for a cuddle with my breasts. They don't suddenly become 8 yr olds over night. It is a gradual process and he will still be your baby no matter how grown up he is. Might not seem like it now but 8 yr olds are still quite little.
Little Magoo 07/08. Breastfed for 3yrs3mths.
Miss Magoo 10/11. Breastfed for 4yrs3mths.

Aurora
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:11 pm

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by Aurora » Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:23 am

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It's helpful to know I'm not the only one feeding "this long", getting aversion, etc.
Parla, reassuring to hear that yours aren't into it anymore! Haven't really found anything that helps with the aversion, I just know it's worse at certain times - when I'm tired, am not as full, if he's been naughty or I'm feeling grumpy.. I can't really ever let him comfort suck for long, unless it's for going to sleep at night and I'm feeling desperate!

MamaMagoO, hear you with the boundaries. It's the only thing keeping me sane. We night weaned at about 2 and three quarters, he's in bed with us for the majority of the night so it went quite well, and it was helpful him being old enough to explain beforehand and reason with.
I think I'm going to need to do some "mummy-led partial weaning" too. We have started talking about how susu isn't for really big boys and that sometime soon we won't have it anymore. The thing holding me back is just how much he loves it and how important it seems to him. Plus all the obvious nutritional benefits. And I really don't want him to feel any rejection in weaning, he can be quite a sensitive boy, and I would hate for weaning to make him think that I love him any less or that he's missing out.
I'm feeding his 10 month old sister also, so wouldn't want him to feel jealous at all.
Parla, did you tandem feed at all, and how did you go about weaning?

And MamaMagoO, I think it's so true about them growing gradually. I'm sure when he gets to 8 he won't seem super old, it's just so hard to picture now!

Jenbt85
Posts: 3251
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:13 am
Location: Melbourne

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by Jenbt85 » Wed Nov 18, 2015 2:49 pm

I've been following the thread :) I weaned when my son was just shy of 19 months. My son *loved* breastfeeding and I was getting aversion. I persevered for a month or two with the aversion but one day decided to stop. I had barely any milk left. He adjusted really well to no feeds. I fell pregnant shortly after weaning him and was worried that he would feel jealous too. He couldn't care less. He actually asks to feed his sister and helps her latch on (very funny). He's occasionally tried to go back to breastfeeding, but I have said no and he's accepted that with no question. He's almost three now and I don't want to tandem feed (I think it's a beautiful thing, just not something I want for me). He often seeks comfort in my boobs, but I'm guessing that will change as he gets older. When I don't feel it's appropriate anymore, I will say no. Overall, there's no jealousy at all with his sister.
DS - bf 18.5 months (565 days)!
DD - breastfeeding

Storked by the fabulous forumites: AussieBritLu and PellyintheWilderness

Openly storking AussieBritLu

Gwen's Mum
Posts: 1837
Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 10:08 pm
Location: Queensland...again!

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by Gwen's Mum » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:33 pm

Similar to others, I breastfed my DD until she was 3.5 (and I was about 9 weeks pregnant with DS) - it was pretty much entirely her (very gradually) self-weaning, but luckily it happened when I was really ready for things to finish up. She's 4.5 now, and remembers and talks about having 'mummy milk', but is actually very matter-of-fact in how she talks about breasts, nipples, breastfeeding, and all related things. Breasts are just body parts to her - albeit ones with pretty awesome capabilities! - and she doesn't have any particular long term physical attachment. She did mention in passing a few times just after DS was born that 'maybe I could share the mummy milk now it's back?', but she wasn't phased when I gently ruled out that option. :)
Image Image

Welcome Daydreaming's DS! - 18 Sept '13
Welcome Feather's DS! - 27 Oct '13

User avatar
~WildChild~
Posts: 2925
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:52 am

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by ~WildChild~ » Mon Nov 23, 2015 1:11 pm

I fed both boys until they were 5. They're 9 & almost 7 now. I tandem fed them (DS1 & DS2 until DS1 was 5, DS2 was almost 2.5 & I was 20 wks pregnant with DD). I then tandem DS2 & DD until he was 5 & she was 2.5. She's now 4.5 & still feeds but only a few times a week. DS1 couldn't have cared less about weaning, my decision. DS2 still asks for boobie but he's not getting it. He still likes to touch them but I put rules in place because I dont like it.
DS1 2006 - breastfed for 5 years
DS2 2009 - breastfed for 5 years
DD 2011 - breastfed for 4 years 9 months
Angel baby 2016
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Storking ClOuD_NiNe

suze
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:49 am

Re: How grown children act post-weaning

Post by suze » Wed Mar 09, 2016 12:13 pm

Hi, my son bf till he was 5.5. He's 17 now and claims to not remember a thing about it! Till he was about 7 he would say that he remembered the wonderful flavour. I think their ability to repress kicks in as they reach puberty.

Post Reply