pressure to wean

How, when and why to introduce foods other than breastmilk
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Andypandy
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pressure to wean

Post by Andypandy » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:45 pm

My mum is pressuring me to wean DS2 because I am pregnant. She means well but I want her to shut up.
DS2 is cutting down and I am happy with the pace. It is not exhausting me.

I just hate feeling questioned and I hate the pressure. It is just breastfeeding. He is not even 2 years old yet. He is just a baby.

Mum breastfed all of us but I think she takes the perspective that her way is the right and only way. Eg she weaned my sister at a bit over 2 so can't fathom why someone would feed longer.
DS1: May 09 Breastfed 2y7m
DS2: Oct 2012 Breastfed 2y1m I am pretending he is weaned
DD: Feb 2015

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Yankee
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Yankee » Wed Aug 20, 2014 2:01 pm

That is annoying!

Can you set a boundary with her? Just outright tell her that you know she means well but the topic is not up for discussion?
DD born September 2013

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mooki
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by mooki » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:44 pm

you know I actually had to re read that this thread was from you :shock:
It is just breastfeeding
Exactly this!
Need to think on this one. ill be back

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Mummy woo!
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Mummy woo! » Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:01 pm

I just told family that my doctor had said it was fine.

It helped with after-the-fact validation that Mrs Moops was 4.25kg at birth 8)
It's OK Pluto, I'm not a planet either

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fellare
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by fellare » Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:48 pm

maybe get her the breastfeeding and pregnancy booklet?
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
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mooki
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by mooki » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:21 pm

this is the thing though. In Andys family, weaning before the age of about 15 (OK slight exaggeration) isnt the norm.

Have many members of your family breastfed through pregnancy Andy? Or maybe its just that she has seen that you are more immobile with your foot at the moment and weaning E 'would make it easier on you'?

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Andypandy
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Andypandy » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:24 pm

mooki wrote:this is the thing though. In Andys family, weaning before the age of about 15 (OK slight exaggeration) isnt the norm.

Have many members of your family breastfed through pregnancy Andy? Or maybe its just that she has seen that you are more immobile with your foot at the moment and weaning E 'would make it easier on you'?
On my dad's side, no one has weaned before 1. Most feed til over 2. Several tandem feeders.

My mum is more of a conservative breastfeeder IYKWIM. Her normal is not feeding through pregnancy. I have calculated the age she fed my sister to and the fact that I was conceived after a MC and I am pretty sure she was breastfeeding when she had her MC. Maybe she is speaking through her own sadness and fear?
DS1: May 09 Breastfed 2y7m
DS2: Oct 2012 Breastfed 2y1m I am pretending he is weaned
DD: Feb 2015

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Mummy woo!
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Mummy woo! » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:13 pm

Andypandy wrote:
mooki wrote:this is the thing though. In Andys family, weaning before the age of about 15 (OK slight exaggeration) isnt the norm.

Have many members of your family breastfed through pregnancy Andy? Or maybe its just that she has seen that you are more immobile with your foot at the moment and weaning E 'would make it easier on you'?
On my dad's side, no one has weaned before 1. Most feed til over 2. Several tandem feeders.

My mum is more of a conservative breastfeeder IYKWIM. Her normal is not feeding through pregnancy. I have calculated the age she fed my sister to and the fact that I was conceived after a MC and I am pretty sure she was breastfeeding when she had her MC. Maybe she is speaking through her own sadness and fear?
You might be on to something there - I know that was the root of the concern of the people who love me. Telling the gp said it was ok was very convincing for them (he did say it was ok - this was before my 'just make sh!t up so people leave you alone phase :smt005 )
It's OK Pluto, I'm not a planet either

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PellyintheWilderness
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by PellyintheWilderness » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:34 pm

Hugs, Andy. Dealing with well-meaning loved ones who are not on the same page as you is Very Hard Work.
Maybe try to probe a little and see if the MC business is at the root of her concern? In which case there is plenty of evidence you could provide to say that it's safe to feed while PG (provided she's the kind of person who can be convinced - my mum isn't. She thinks that what she feels is the objective truth, and finds it almost impossible to understand that other people might feel differently, or that the facts might not support her convictions).
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Snake Hips Mcroy
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Snake Hips Mcroy » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:26 pm

Gah! So annoying!

My mum did the same. She breastfed me til 21 months and my brother til 2 but started nagging me about weaning at 18 months...
DS1 - born May 2011, breastfed for 26 months
DS2 - born Dec 2013, breastfeeding like a champ

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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Jenbt85 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:54 am

PellyintheWilderness wrote:Hugs, Andy. Dealing with well-meaning loved ones who are not on the same page as you is Very Hard Work.
Maybe try to probe a little and see if the MC business is at the root of her concern? In which case there is plenty of evidence you could provide to say that it's safe to feed while PG (provided she's the kind of person who can be convinced - my mum isn't. She thinks that what she feels is the objective truth, and finds it almost impossible to understand that other people might feel differently, or that the facts might not support her convictions).
Are we sisters, Pelly?
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Jenbt85
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by Jenbt85 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:57 am

Andy, that sounds really difficult. If you're close, finding out her reasons for pushing weaning might help you address them. Is it strong pressure to wean or just the odd comment?
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mooki
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by mooki » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:35 am

I reckon you could be onto something there Andy

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PellyintheWilderness
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by PellyintheWilderness » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:09 am

Jenbt85 wrote:
PellyintheWilderness wrote:Hugs, Andy. Dealing with well-meaning loved ones who are not on the same page as you is Very Hard Work.
Maybe try to probe a little and see if the MC business is at the root of her concern? In which case there is plenty of evidence you could provide to say that it's safe to feed while PG (provided she's the kind of person who can be convinced - my mum isn't. She thinks that what she feels is the objective truth, and finds it almost impossible to understand that other people might feel differently, or that the facts might not support her convictions).
Are we sisters, Pelly?
Maybe our mums are :roll:
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PellyintheWilderness
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Re: pressure to wean

Post by PellyintheWilderness » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:16 am

Snake Hips Mcroy wrote:Gah! So annoying!

My mum did the same. She breastfed me til 21 months and my brother til 2 but started nagging me about weaning at 18 months...
What really bugs me is when people who are pro-BF ask you if you're still going, in a tone that shows they expect you not to be, or indicate surprise in some way when you say you are. What sort of encouragement is that?!?
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