Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

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Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

Postby Thirdtimecharm » Mon May 11, 2015 3:17 am

Hi,
I've failed twice at breastfeeding. I NEED to get it right this time and desperate for some extra tips. Bub 3 is due in less than two weeks and I am already having panic attacks about feeding. I have been hand expressing since I hit 37 weeks (due to GDM)- getting about 0.5-1ml an hour.
With last two children I tried breastfeeding and pumping after every feed for weeks, getting about half an ounce from my good breast and only a few drops from my small breast at any one time. My mum ending up making sure we put our first on formula (as bub wasn't putting on enough weight) and the paediatrician told me to stop mixed feeding (breast and formula) at 5months with second child as my milk was making my son sick. I have 3 weeks from birth to get it perfected (before my mother visits).
With previous tries, I've spoken to lactation consultants, tried fenugreek, brewer's yeast, lactation cookies, mothers milk tea, different breast pumps, hand expressing, drinking milk, continuously pumping between feeds and double pumping.
Sorry for long rant. Can't bear to fail another child- please please help!!
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Re: Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

Postby Esther » Mon May 11, 2015 7:03 am

Huge hugs. We can put ourselves under a lot of pressure as mums.

May I suggest you call the helpline or email a counsellor (available to ABA members) to debrief and work out a plan?

Sorry for short reply. Please stay here for support and let us know how you get along.
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Re: Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

Postby Mummy woo! » Mon May 11, 2015 8:06 am

WHat Esther said. And ask the counsellor about whether a BEC would be helpful.
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Re: Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

Postby Thirdtimecharm » Mon May 11, 2015 9:07 am

Thanks for your quick replies! Will call the helpline today when my partner goes to work. I checked for BECs, however couldn't find any in central Vic (do you know whether toddlers allowed?). Will give it another look! Thanks xx
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Re: Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

Postby MamaMagoO? » Mon May 11, 2015 10:08 am

Hi. I tried replying earlier but the battery on my tablet died.

I just wanted to say that I agree that calling a counsellor and getting to a BEC if possible would be helpful. If there isn't a BEC in your area your could just go along to a local group meeting and speak with a counsellor there. She would be able to go over all of the same information that you would get in a class and you would have some on-going support from her. Also toddlers are very welcome at group meetings, while, personally I think it wold be fine to have one at a BEC it could be a bit distracting for others attending and not quite as easy as a group meeting would be.

I also wanted to let you know that you have not failed your children. It sounds like you have done your very best for them in the circumstances and that is all anyone can do. You tried to get help but that help hasn't quite worked out and that is not your fault. It makes it very difficult when family members and health professionals are not supportive of your goals. It sounds to me like it was the system that failed you.

Wishing you all the best to find the support you need to breastfeed your 3rd and hope you stick around here for some support from afar.
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Re: Failed twice.. Any tips for third child?!?

Postby Jenbt85 » Mon May 11, 2015 12:52 pm

MamaMagoO? wrote: I also wanted to let you know that you have not failed your children. It sounds like you have done your very best for them in the circumstances and that is all anyone can do. You tried to get help but that help hasn't quite worked out and that is not your fault. It makes it very difficult when family members and health professionals are not supportive of your goals. It sounds to me like it was the system that failed you.


Absolutely right, you haven't failed your children. While I can understand your disappointment at not having breastfed when it has been what you wanted to in the past, the way you feed your child is only one part of parenting.

Wishing you the best of luck with your next child. The forum is a great place, do stick around and let us know how you go.
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