At my wits end!

For discussion of issues that arise in the early days of breastfeeding
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chiggins
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At my wits end!

Post by chiggins » Wed Aug 17, 2016 11:45 pm

Can anyone help me...?
DS is 2 months old (4 weeks corrected) and he is feeding 2 hourly around the clock...so from the end of feed/settling to the beginning of next feed is about 1-1.5 hours. I'm starting to feel like a zombie! I can't catch up on sleep during the day as I have two toddlers to look after too.
I tried to give him a bottle of formula a few nights back to see if it would help him sleep longer but that just resulted in us getting absolutely no sleep that night. Won't be doing that again!! He doesn't take well to bottles anyway.
This lack of sleep is making me quite moody and depressed so something's gotta change, and soon!
Any suggestions welcome!!
DD - Nov 2013
DS1 - Apr 2015
DS2 - Jun 2016 (BFing like a champ!)

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Esther
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by Esther » Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:25 am

Hugs, that's sounds exhausting!

I'm just vaguely remembering that there might be a wonder week around this time, which sometimes can explain the increased feeding and any unsettled behaviour?

Is calling helpline an option, even in middle of the night? Or if email counselling is an option, maybe cut and paste your post into the form?

Good luck. And more hugs xo
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Nedsmum
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by Nedsmum » Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:27 am

My experience is that they 'wake up' from the newborn phase somewhere around 6-8 weeks. That sounds about right!

Unfortunately I think that it's just a case of 'riding it out' and recognising that the increased feeding frequency may be that they are particularly hungry, simply more awake, or boosting your milk supply (probably around now the milk-making hormones of the birth are wearing off a bit).

Can you call in some extra help - usually I would find that indulging things for 1-2 days usually got through the toughest times... do you have anyone who can come by and give extra entertainment to the older two so that you can focus on the baby ?
Breastmilk - the ultimate 'brain food'!!!

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ClOuD_NiNe
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by ClOuD_NiNe » Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:09 pm

That sounds rough :( DD1 was a 2 hourly feeder. Co-sleeping saved me, it was the only way I could cope. At first I had her in a bassinet next to my bed but even that was an effort to physically sit up to feed. Once I started putting her in the bed next to me I would feed her while half asleep and felt much better rested. Not sure what your sleeping arrangements are but bed sharing could be an option?
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chiggins
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by chiggins » Fri Aug 19, 2016 12:04 am

Thanks for your replies, ladies.
DS has been feeding two hourly since leaving SCBU, back when he was just three weeks old (38 weeks gestation corrected age) and they stopped the NG ebm top ups.
We are currently bed-sharing as I can't physically do it any other way. I'm just too exhausted.
Should the time between feeds lengthen after the first wonder week? My other two children were so different... I had to actually wake them for feeds over night. Perhaps DS is different because he was prem...?
I went to my CaFHS nurse a couple of days ago and she said it's completely normal. I was almost in tears as I was leaving...somethings got to change. Surely babies don't feed or wake every 1.5 to 2 hours for months and months....right? :smt087
DD - Nov 2013
DS1 - Apr 2015
DS2 - Jun 2016 (BFing like a champ!)

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Nedsmum
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by Nedsmum » Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:00 am

Ususally just when you either a) think you have it worked out or b) are at your total wit's end...it changes again ;-)
I guess I would be reluctant to try to space fees out for a prem or newborn baby, but maybe it's possible. I have heard that tube-fed babies sometimes get used to 'continous' food so maybe his stomach is just so tiny so it's filling and empyting fast ?

One thing that helped me sometimes was to keep an actual diary. In the total overhwelm of caring for a small baby, sometimes it felt much worse than it was, and where I felt chaos, once I wrote a bit of a diary of feeds/sleeps I could start to see a 'predictable' pattern) even if it was (as it was for my third child) '"guaranteed to be awake between 10pm and 10:30pm regardless of when he went to bed..."
Breastmilk - the ultimate 'brain food'!!!

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ClOuD_NiNe
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by ClOuD_NiNe » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:55 am

DD1 woke 2 hourly to feed until I night weaned her at 19 months... sorry :( She had a very different personality to DS, she was born full term but was very clingy from a young age. I guess you could call her high needs? It nearly drove me insane until I just accepted that that's the way she was and it might not change for a while.

Probably not what you wanted to hear. I really hope he starts giving you longer stretches of sleep soon!
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Jenbt85
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by Jenbt85 » Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:43 pm

Huge hugs, it's so tough when you don't get a break

DS fed every two hours until around 12 months BUT the feeds became quicker and it wasn't as onerous as the early days. This WILL pass.

I was interested in the outcome from the formula - why was it so bad? I'm wondering about a reaction to dairy?
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chiggins
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by chiggins » Sat Aug 20, 2016 12:17 am

Not sure why the Formula resulted in a night of horrors. He was just so unsettled for about 7 hours, only sleeping for 20 minutes at a time before waking up screaming.
He took about 120 ml at around 10pm and then refused to settle. He hates the bottle so I had to basically force the teat to stay in his mouth and he tends to "kiss" the teat instead of latching properly. He would have taken in a lot of air while drinking it.
We eventually fell asleep at around 5 or 6am for a couple of hours. Don't think it's a dairy thing... I eat and drink heaps of dairy and it's never bothered him before...?
I think I'm just going to have to suck it up and continue to do what I'm doing. It's not doing my mental health any favours but I just have to remind myself that it will pass.
Thanks everyone. x
DD - Nov 2013
DS1 - Apr 2015
DS2 - Jun 2016 (BFing like a champ!)

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mummymanda
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by mummymanda » Sat Aug 20, 2016 10:24 am

I found this forum because DD2 was very similar. Drove me insane. She had reflux and determined me decided I wouldn't medicate her, in hindsight I probably should have. I used the natural type stuff and it helped a bit. She would bring up heaps of a feed to the point of their being splashes of milk all over the floor as I was too tired/pointless to clean it up continually. She hated a bottle and never really took one which made it worse. When she was out of the newborn phase yet still on the 2hrly feeds a few times I had places to go and left her with a carer. She cried herself to sleep for about 10 min after I left and woke the second I walked in the door 5-6 hours later, I guess she smelt me. It was the only time until she was 4 that she slept such a long stretch. She was highly anxious and had huge separation issues until she went to kinder. The feeds eased out to 4hrly from memory once she walked at 9 months because it helped the reflux. However she was a huge cat napper rarely could I get her to sleep past the 30 min mark. I had to wean her at about 2.5 as she took on a stage of feeding allllllll night. She is now 8, doesn't need a heap of sleep, sleep walks, still gets tummy aches at times and is a very easy vomiter. Eats like a bird alot of the time.

Hope you find something that works soon. Have you tried different wrapping methods? I know DD3 liked to be wrapped tight and felt secure and slept alot better. What about baby wearing? Sleeping in a pram after a walk? What is he like in the car? DD2 hated it. But it does pass however knowing that does not help the immediate exhaustion hugs hun
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chiggins
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by chiggins » Sun Aug 21, 2016 12:10 am

Thanks for your reply mummymanda!
Reflux is something I have considered. He doesn't seem to be suffering from it though. He rarely brings up vomit or anything. It takes quite a long time to burp him though!
For sleeping, he likes to be swaddled tightly and has a dummy. Generally, he does settle quite quickly (10-15 minutes usually) and will often feed to sleep. As we are bed sharing, this works out well because I can just unlatch then fall straight to sleep next to him.
He loves the pram, as long as it's moving. He hates (and I mean...hates!) the car. Screams every time. I think it's more that he hates being strapped into the car seat rather than the actual ride.
Certainly is exhausting but it seems that there isn't much I can do about it.
The joys of parenthood... :roll:
DD - Nov 2013
DS1 - Apr 2015
DS2 - Jun 2016 (BFing like a champ!)

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mummymanda
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by mummymanda » Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:16 am

chiggins wrote:Thanks for your reply mummymanda!
Reflux is something I have considered. He doesn't seem to be suffering from it though. He rarely brings up vomit or anything. It takes quite a long time to burp him though!
There is silent reflux where it comes up by not out.

DD2 was a bit hit and miss to get to sleep but didn't sleep long. Was like she couldn't get through that first sleep cycle If she has a sleep walking night its generally in the same time frame she walks as she used to wake up. Have you followed the eat play sleep cycle? He may be a bit young for this though?

Good luck. Kids who'd have em hey!!
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4 Buttons
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by 4 Buttons » Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:33 pm

Have you thought about seeing a lactation consultant for potential tongue or lip ties? We've seen a chiropractor who adjusted bub after she was born it helped heaps as she hated laying on her back she checked for tongue tie and she had one. My daughter had silent reflux from taking in too much air when feeding you could hear the gulping so she was in pain most of the time. Once it had been snipped she fed much better and helped stimulate the breast to make more milk.

chiggins
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Re: At my wits end!

Post by chiggins » Mon Aug 22, 2016 10:22 pm

4 Buttons wrote:Have you thought about seeing a lactation consultant for potential tongue or lip ties? We've seen a chiropractor who adjusted bub after she was born it helped heaps as she hated laying on her back she checked for tongue tie and she had one. My daughter had silent reflux from taking in too much air when feeding you could hear the gulping so she was in pain most of the time. Once it had been snipped she fed much better and helped stimulate the breast to make more milk.
He's been assessed for ties by a lactation consultant. He doesn't have any and his latch is really good. No supply issues...other than over supply, especially in the mornings.
How would I find out if he has silent reflux? He is putting on over 200 gms a week.
Thanks for your suggestion!
DD - Nov 2013
DS1 - Apr 2015
DS2 - Jun 2016 (BFing like a champ!)

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