Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

For discussion of issues that arise in the early days of breastfeeding
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Lionessandhercubs
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Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2015 1:04 pm

Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by Lionessandhercubs » Sat Nov 07, 2015 1:26 pm

Unfortunately, due to a variety of reasons, I was unable to breastfeed my first bub.
Reasons included an upper lip tie, tongue tie, mixed feeding due to minimal weight gains and one kind lady informed me, I had low supply due to minimal breast tissue.
Due to my not so positive first attempt at breast feeding, I decided to reaserach the shaniz out of all that is 'breastfeeding', that would hopefully allow me to have a more successful experience come round two.
Well, here we are... I am three weeks in and I feel as if it is starting to unravel faster than a ball of string!
I have had various appointments with my GP and local LC's. I have had bub checked for tongue tie, one states no and another has said yes. I have bub feeding, at the very maximum, every 3hrs. I have started switch feeding during the day time, to hopefulky increase my letdown. I have commenced Motillium. I have tried expressing with a pump to be able to offer my bub top-ups with EBM, but am lucky to even get a dribble... Therefore I am having to offer top-ups with formula in the evening when my supply appears to be at its lowest...
The thing I am struggling with though, is the lack of support I am recieving from my husband. He is well aware how much this means to me and was so supportive and encouraging in the very early days... But it seems, the more negativity we receive from the GP's and the LC's, the more his support is starting to wane.
Take for example, only this morning, I return from the shower to find that he has given our newborn a dummy.
Yes, in the bigger scheme of things, maybe not a big deal... But, he knows that I didn't want to give one to bub until we had sorted my supply issue, the GP and LC's stated not to give one, I have shown him countless articles and explained several times why not and then as soon as my back is turned... He pops one in bubs mouth.
The list goes on from here and to be honest... I am really starting to struggle with having to fight my husband on every decision I am making and knowing that I have lost my support person, I am doubting my ability to be able to go on and be successful with my breastfeeding journey this round.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I guess I am just hoping for some encouragement and perhaps to hear from others who may of experienced a similar situation and be able to hear what their outcome may of been.

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ClOuD_NiNe
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Re: Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by ClOuD_NiNe » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:00 pm

Hi and congrats on your second baby! This forum is wonderful for offering support, we'd love you to stick around :D It's a bit difficult to respond to complex issues on this forum but have you considered calling the helpline? A breastfeeding counsellor can go through everything with you in detail and offer suggestions tailored to your situation. Email counselling is also an option if you are an ABA member.

Local groups are also a great source of support, there should be one near you. Just go to this link and type in your postcode https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/contacts/groups. You will be able to get face to face support from a local breastfeeding counsellor and meet other mums.

It's so hard when you don't have the support you need from family. I would be upset too if my DH gave bub a dummy without my consent while I was trying to establish breastfeeding. I think in that case I would just remove it and state your case (again).

Hope that has helped a little, I'm sure others will be along soon to cheer you on. Let us know how you go!
DS July 11 - bf for 10 months
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Jenbt85
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Location: Melbourne

Re: Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by Jenbt85 » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:33 pm

Hello and welcome to the forum! Congratulations on your baby :) I'm sorry to hear that it hasn't been easy for you this time around. The early days are so difficult with everyone adjusting to having an extra bub in the house.

I can understand why you wouldn't want to use the dummy. Could it be that if you used one with your first (I'm making assumptions here) that your husband just sees it as part of his parenting toolbox now?

I had lots of people tell me to give up breastfeeding my first as we initially had problems getting him to latch and then we had to establish my supply. Neither of us had come from breastfeeding families and my mum struggled with seeing how hard it was for me (emotionally and physically as I had low supply). They wanted what was best for me and would give me a break, even if that wasn't what I wanted. Eventually they saw that it wasn't something I was going to give up on and were more supportive. I bf my son to just shy of 19 months and am bf my daughter now.

The helpline is a great place to work through what's happening for you. The counsellors are really amazing and supportive. The forum is definitely a supportive place and you would have a cheering squad here! Are there any people beyond your husband that could be your support until it clicks?

Best of luck :)
DS - bf 18.5 months (565 days)!
DD - breastfeeding

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MamaMagoO?
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Re: Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by MamaMagoO? » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:38 pm

I agree with all all the above. Especially the suggestion about getting along to your local ABA group. When family support is lacking sometimes finding supportive community can help. Maybe if your DH could get to know some other breastfeeding mums and have it normalised a bit more for him it might help.
Little Magoo 07/08. Breastfed for 3yrs3mths.
Miss Magoo 10/11. Breastfed for 4yrs3mths.

kingofthedivan
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Re: Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by kingofthedivan » Sun Nov 08, 2015 9:04 pm

Hello lioness, welcome and congrats on your new bub! Lots of good advice above, and very eloquently conveyed too!
I had trouble breastfeeding in the beginning, with latching onto flat nipples and fairly small boobs, and spent a helluva time researching supply issues, and knocking back fenugreek capsules like there was no tomorrow! One thing that really helped was when my baby was about 5 weeks and someone said to me, you know, it took until 10 weeks before I really 'got' breastfeeding and felt confident. Hearing that was really reassuring, and helped me relax about things not working first go. In the end it was more like 12- 15 weeks, and we got there. She's now 22months and still quite boob obsessed, and vocal about it too!
I also wanted to say, when I started pumping it could get quite demoralising when I got only small small amounts. So try not to take it to heart, because babies get more out than machines, and every little bit helps when you're building a freezer stash. Also I found if I had drunk lots of water a few hours before I pumped, that changed things too. Hope this helps!

Lionessandhercubs
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Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2015 1:04 pm

Re: Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by Lionessandhercubs » Mon Nov 09, 2015 4:47 pm

Thank you so much for your kind congrats and positive words of encouragement.
I will certainly look into attending the next meet my local ABA have scheduled and in the meantime will keep reminding myself that it is still early days, in terms of breastfeeding.
On a positive note, bub had a weigh this morning with the local LC and had a great gain! So, so pleased! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face!
Trying to keep the lines of communication open with my husband. As one suggested, he is doing what is comfortable for him... Not to undermine my choices... Even though it may sometimes feel that way.
Anyways, I just wanted to say a big thank you for allowing me to vent within a supportive environment x

Jenbt85
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Re: Early days and my support team appear to of given up.

Post by Jenbt85 » Tue Nov 10, 2015 12:51 pm

Go you and bub!! Those weigh ins can be such a reward after a hard slog. That's really exciting :)
DS - bf 18.5 months (565 days)!
DD - breastfeeding

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