loneliness

For many reasons, some mothers find themselves being the sole parent of
their child or children. This category is for those who may be full time
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fellare
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loneliness

Post by fellare » Wed May 28, 2014 7:44 am

I've had such a lovely weekend. Staying with this friend and his parents.
It's hard to come home to an empty house. Nobody to talk with, nobody to make me laugh, nobody to help me, nobody to cuddle with. It just make me feel so empty. I need people around me.

I just can't really see myself finding a partner. It's hard to meet men in the first place! I'm not joking, I've talked to four men since I've finished study. Most of them my friends partners, but all were married anyway.

There isn't much point to this. I'm just feeling very down after so much fun.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

Snake Hips Mcroy
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Re: loneliness

Post by Snake Hips Mcroy » Wed May 28, 2014 8:25 am

Hugs Fellare! The post good-time blues always sux, but even more to come home to an empty house...

Fwiw, my dearest friend has recently found herself a single mum (no partner, accidental pregnancy), and was telling me about some website specifically for single parents to share things - like houses, holidays etc. partly because it makes it cheaper and party for the company and sense of community. I can't for the life of me remember what the website is though!
DS1 - born May 2011, breastfed for 26 months
DS2 - born Dec 2013, breastfeeding like a champ

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fellare
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Re: loneliness

Post by fellare » Wed May 28, 2014 8:28 am

Wish I had space to take in a student or someone. I've got plenty of friends and spend most of my day out doing stuff. The less time at home the better.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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fellare
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Re: loneliness

Post by fellare » Wed May 28, 2014 11:44 am

Far out, I'm just shattered this morning :cry: went to dancing and tried to be in the moment, but the more I was in it the more I just wanted to break down and cry.
And of course I'm being a shit mum today, which makes Ds behave like shit too. He run of me twice, left the shop twice. Both time run into traffic. I was so close to giving him a big smack in public :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: I hate when I'm like this, he deserves better.
I feel like stopping all contact with his dad. It's such a waste of time!!! Skype often takes an hour and because ex does nothing it means I've got to sit there and watch them. It takes so long because ds loves it. Right on dinner time!! It's draining. Having done a weekend without it makes me realise how draining it is.

Maybe my tablet can disappear for a bit until he buys me a new laptop. :evil:
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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Feebes
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Re: loneliness

Post by Feebes » Wed May 28, 2014 1:11 pm

At least you're making the effort for the Skyping to happen, DS will in the long term benefit from it. :-)

Do they play games etc over Skype at all?

Sometimes this single parenting thing can be taxing, 8 + years here and I know that I go through stages of really not liking it. Sometimes I resent it and want to rebel!

I am sure that you won't be single forever, it all just takes time.

How are you going financially and emotionally?

Feebes
DD 02
DS 05
DD2 2010

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fellare
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Re: loneliness

Post by fellare » Wed May 28, 2014 5:58 pm

Financially, I may be out of debt again. Had to pay some bills and lost control. Then treated myself to a new wrap to feel better. :oops: . it's hard, it will be harder, but I'll be able to work from end of July as I'm finishing up with the psych so will have the Thursday to myself. Going to do relief teaching and start a small business. It will just pull me over the edge out of poverty. I'm so sick of this poverty.

I did do sine retail therapy again. Bought a Tibet prayer flag and some Peery stones. One to hang in Ds mandarin tree and one to put below it. Had to buy ausb hub so I can now hopefully access my files and finish my study!!! I feel much better now. Also had a good chat with the panda lady and we agreed to only rally fortnightly now instead of weekly.

Skype, no, x just sorry if sits there. Perhaps does something when I tell him to. Told him to get a book he can read to Ds, but he still hasn't done it. Says he had no time!!!! But he wants me to organise his divorce by Friday so he can start his business. #$%^ him. Lol.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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Feebes
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Re: loneliness

Post by Feebes » Wed May 28, 2014 8:05 pm

Wow, so he just sort of sits around and doesn't interact with DS? That's odd!

Feebes
DD 02
DS 05
DD2 2010

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fellare
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Re: loneliness

Post by fellare » Wed May 28, 2014 8:18 pm

Yep, sure is!! The number of times I have to look at the tablet to make sure it didn't die on us (which does happen often!)
He got the books for older age, sometimes pulls out a car magazine, sometimes sings a song, but mostly it I encourage him. He says it's hard cause I'm watching him :roll:
I don't know. I don't understand him anymore. I used to. I used to be able to read him easily, often through his art work. He was an open book. But not anymore now.
I don't know if I will ever be able to fill up the hole he left. I don't know if I can ever have that trust in someone else again. Maybe. Who knows. Right now I have to focus on my child and my own life.

Shit, this guy was so nice on the weekend!!! It was just so lovely. We played cards and giggled like teens. Fed the worms and laughed cause I tried to feed one to ds and he nearly ate it :shock: anyway, he's out of reach.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

just_alice
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:57 pm

Re: loneliness

Post by just_alice » Tue Jul 01, 2014 11:01 pm

I've been there, know what you're talking about. This will pass.
On the other hand you have a lot of free time now. Make use of it - study languages, learn to draw or play a music instrument, make sports. In a while you will connect with someone who has the same interests, but don't make it into a goal. Hugs!

Westaussie77
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Re: loneliness

Post by Westaussie77 » Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:03 pm

9 years of solo parenting and I find the loneliness waxes and waines.....breath in breath out....I hope it passes quickly for you, just know that it is common to feel this way from time to time

I am in one of those periods where I am longing for companionship, someone to share this journey with and so far it isn't happening.
Westaussie77

DD Nov 2003 - Breastfed 17mths
DS Nov 2005 - Breastfed 44mths
Solo Parent since April 2006


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