Feeling lonely

For many reasons, some mothers find themselves being the sole parent of
their child or children. This category is for those who may be full time
solo parents or for those whose partners work away from home for extended
periods of time, and for every solo parenting situation in between!


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nilmerg
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Feeling lonely

Post by nilmerg » Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:02 pm

The first 12 months was easy compared to what I'm going through now. I'm just so lonely. Currently I'm choosing to continue to be a stay at home mum for my kids (4 and 6), so no friends through work. I'm struggling to identify with many of my friends who are still partnered as while they do their best for me, they just can't really understand what it is like. My family is thousands of miles away so i'm truly isolated from them.

What do you do to get you through the lonely times?

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fellare
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Post by fellare » Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:07 pm

hugs. I hear you! it's only been 4 months for me and far out, it's hard! It's hard to come home to an empty house again and again and again and again. I haven't got family either, just some friends and child care.

So far I've got nothing. watching movies :/ I'm sure I get sick of that. I read a lot and have set up my living room so it's easy to craft and sew (as long as I keep it tidy, I got a 5x1.2m table :shock: )

Could you perhaps do a study? ABA has some great ones that includes lots of company? Or hook up with some FIFO mums? I'm lucky that one of my friends is a single mum (by choice) and one a FIFO mum so they understand. Perhaps not how I feel, but at least the loneliness of it all.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

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Mummy woo!
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Post by Mummy woo! » Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:55 pm

Hugs Nilmerg, that sounds really tough. I get lonely if I have a day at home on my own! Do you need to build a network IRL? In our town there are a few support groups for single parents that make space for the kids as well. I don't know what kind of support they offer - I don't think they are sending someone around to help with the washing up and to make you a cuppa after the kids are in bed :roll:

Would it help to get involved in volunteering to build a network of 'work colleagues'? ABA, P&C at school, your local op-shop? Is there a faith community you are interested in getting involved with? My MIL pops in to her local op shop and does an hour or two every day - she likes the routine and the social contact now that she is no longer working. Depending on your LOs you should be able to find somewhere they will be welcome and that you can enjoy as a family.

Is there a nursing home near you that might let you adopt a granny?
It's OK Pluto, I'm not a planet either

Westaussie77
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Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:12 pm
Location: Country WA

Post by Westaussie77 » Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:36 am

Hugs...

The loneliness has it ups and downs for me. After over 7 years of flying solo. I find when I am busy with kids, studying it isn't so bad...but when the kids are away and I have no pressing assignments I feel empty. (Uni semester has just finished for me)

My coping strategies include

Online friendships (facebook, sometimes online dating sites)
Hanging out with my ABA friends
Taking a shift or even a call on ABA helpline (talking to an adult human really helps)
Volunteering with ABA at many levels...group, region, branch (state) level
P&C - Talking to other parents at school.

My kids are now older the conversation is improving (not adult level, but improvement is better than nothing)

Now that uni is finishing up I am a little concerned, however I've just started a small 8hr/week part time job (2 days/week) working in a large community based agency, so lots of people to meet and talk to.

I hope you find some things that work for you.
Westaussie77

DD Nov 2003 - Breastfed 17mths
DS Nov 2005 - Breastfed 44mths
Solo Parent since April 2006


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JC
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Post by JC » Sat Nov 23, 2013 4:59 pm

Is anyone familiar with Parents Without Partners?
http://pwpaustralia.net/
DS born July 2006; continued until 5
DD born November 2009; until 4

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fellare
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Post by fellare » Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:35 pm

thanks, didn't know about them! Would be nice to meet singles. I don't think I know any IRL. Other than Clair.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

Karen81
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Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 7:28 pm

Post by Karen81 » Tue Nov 26, 2013 7:27 am

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say that it makes me sad that people are lonely. Surely there are enough people in the world that no one should be lonely :(

Big hugs to you!

I know there's not a lot of free money as a single parent but what about joining a mums personal training group? They're more intimate than a gym and other mums might like a cuppa and a chat after a session.

4fun
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Joined: Fri Aug 13, 2010 3:44 pm

Post by 4fun » Tue Nov 26, 2013 7:44 am

JC wrote:Is anyone familiar with Parents Without Partners?
http://pwpaustralia.net/
My mum was involved in this when i was a kid i remember them doing activities a lot and having heaps of fun with other kids so its great for kids too.
DS1 July 2008
DS2 November 2009
DD November 2011
DD2 March 2014

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