What would your reaction be.....

For many reasons, some mothers find themselves being the sole parent of
their child or children. This category is for those who may be full time
solo parents or for those whose partners work away from home for extended
periods of time, and for every solo parenting situation in between!


Please be aware of our Forum Guidelines and be conscious of your personal
safety when posting.

Post Reply
deniablyme
Posts: 279
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 11:28 pm

What would your reaction be.....

Post by deniablyme » Fri May 25, 2012 2:20 am

If your ex said to you that they would give you more money for child support, so long as you went for a private agreement not a CSA mananged agreement?

Should also mention that the amount of child support currently being collected by the CSA is $7 per week, amount being offered is $50 per week privately.

It's not a new separation either, the child in question is 16, and child support has been collected by the CSA for the past 6 years.
Last edited by deniablyme on Sat May 26, 2012 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image

User avatar
Nedsmum
Posts: 9552
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:36 am
Location: Switzerland

Post by Nedsmum » Fri May 25, 2012 3:21 am

I would say he probably is about to get a new, much more well paying job, and he's trying to wiggle out of something, or he didn't declare his income/taxes properly or something and is going to get a big assessment at the end of the financial year...and owe a lot more child support...

I'd also tell him that he's very welcome to give a bit more money towards the upkeep of his child, any time, and if he'd like some ideas of what he could spend the money on, I'll give him a list!

When was the last time CSA updated their calculations ? for $7 a week he must be unemployed or on a barely liveable wage - or he is remarried and has other kids ?
Breastmilk - the ultimate 'brain food'!!!

greenie
Posts: 2454
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:15 pm

Post by greenie » Fri May 25, 2012 8:12 am

Suspicion would be my reaction ;)

How would the private arrangement be enforced if he decides to stop paying?

Like Nedsmum, I'd be wondering how much more than $50 he's supposed to pay you.

Was any reason given for the sudden onset of generosity after 10 years?
So long everyone! Thanks for everything :-D

User avatar
Mummy79
Posts: 617
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:26 am
Location: Melbourne, Victoria.

Re: What would your reaction be.....

Post by Mummy79 » Fri May 25, 2012 9:24 am

deniablyme wrote:If your ex said to you that they would give you more money for child support, so long as you went for a private agreement not a CSA mananged agreement?

Should also mention that the amount of child support currently being collected by the CSA is $7 per week, amount being offered is $50 per week privately.

It's not a new separation either, the child in question is 16, and child support has been collected by the CSA for the past 10 years.

Purely hypothetical of course :wink: :-.
I'd say take it, but bare in mind if you get FTB A from Centrelink and cancel your CSA managed agreement your FTB A will reduce to base rate (if you get more than that now that is).

Just a tip from someone who works for the government. :wink:

User avatar
jessles
Posts: 7140
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:58 pm
Location: Just ask hubby..... he'll tell you I'm in forum land

Post by jessles » Fri May 25, 2012 10:05 am

I would be suspicous.

I would also be worried that if it was no longer CSA he may pay for a short amount of time and then stop and then there is no comeback

deniablyme
Posts: 279
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 11:28 pm

Post by deniablyme » Fri May 25, 2012 1:00 pm

Nedsmum wrote:I would say he probably is about to get a new, much more well paying job, and he's trying to wiggle out of something, or he didn't declare his income/taxes properly or something and is going to get a big assessment at the end of the financial year...and owe a lot more child support...
Already there, started earlier this year.
Nedsmum wrote:When was the last time CSA updated their calculations ? for $7 a week he must be unemployed or on a barely liveable wage - or he is remarried and has other kids ?
Up until recently unemployed, had a few jobs over the years, never managed to keep them, has 2 other children on another CSA agreement. Got a new assesment in the mail the other day for the past 5 years so I'd say he's just gotten his tax done.
greenie wrote:Suspicion would be my reaction ;)
Mine too ;)
greenie wrote:Was any reason given for the sudden onset of generosity after 10 years?
No reason given, but a threat of family court if payments remain with the CSA. Apparently spoke to some mens group who reckon he has a "case".
Mummy79 wrote: Just a tip from someone who works for the government. :wink:
Thanks, as a single income family at this point in time, that's handy information to have regarding a private agreement.
jessles wrote:I would also be worried that if it was no longer CSA he may pay for a short amount of time and then stop and then there is no comeback
That would be my biggest concern too. Spoke to his other ex this morning (she's private with him) and he's very hit and miss with his payments.

I'm really cranky about the whole situation, he's just being a first class jerk. Nothing unusual in that, he's the "world owes me something" type of person, always expects people to chase him, and wants people to do things his way.
Image

User avatar
akinasmum
Posts: 1012
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:56 pm

Post by akinasmum » Fri May 25, 2012 9:11 pm

When I was offered this I politely replied that I wanted no more than what I was entitled to but thank you for your consideration.
Low and behold I am now getting almost 2 and a half times more than what he was offering and if I had signed off on the contract sent I would have had no way of changing if for that time period.
Personally I see child support as my DD's money. It goes into her bank account and after years of receiving $20 or less a month I would be a fool to think that child support should be included in my budget.
Devil Womans Mum

User avatar
Feebes
Posts: 12555
Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 4:57 pm
Location: SA

Post by Feebes » Sat May 26, 2012 1:35 am

akinasmum wrote:I would be a fool to think that child support should be included in my budget.
I never rely on that money either for budgeting, I know it isn't right, but I consider it 'bonus' money.

Feebes
DD 02
DS 05
DD2 2010

deniablyme
Posts: 279
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 11:28 pm

Post by deniablyme » Sat May 26, 2012 9:50 am

Feebes wrote: I never rely on that money either for budgeting, I know it isn't right, but I consider it 'bonus' money.
Same here.

Half the time I don't even realise that it's gone in. $30 a month doesn't even cover her bus fares for the month, but ex is of the opinion that I should be grateful that he "gives" it to me.

So anyway, yesterday it came out that the reason that he wants to go private is because the CSA makes him feel like an "asshole father". (Guess the truth hurts lol) Wouldn't believe my daughter when she told him that it has to go through the CSA otherwise I lose my FTB. (Poor kid has had to deal with all this because he won't talk to me). He rang the CSA and they told him that what I had said was true, and that it was up to me how I wanted to be paid, and that he couldn't change anything :twisted:

So I'm still getting paid through the CSA, and he's decided that he will put the extra money that he wanted to give me straight into my daughters bank account. (basically he's giving her the equivalent of what he spends on the other kids that he has every weekend.)

Considering he paid no child support for the first 10 years of her life, (I walked out while I was pregnant) he's done pretty bloody well!
Image

User avatar
Penguin
Posts: 10031
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:21 pm
Contact:

Post by Penguin » Sat May 26, 2012 10:29 am

Sounds dodgy as anything to me.
DD1 May 2011
Super baby Dec 2013
DD2 Feb 2015 Storked by Parla.
Proud storker: michansam's DS3, katsbi's DD3 and Gwen's mum's DS
Image

User avatar
Meri
Posts: 587
Joined: Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:58 pm

Post by Meri » Sun May 27, 2012 12:13 am

My ex and I have a private arrangement. He pays the amount that CSA has assessed him at. Nothing more. He has it set up so he pays it directly into my bank account every fortnight, and he lets me know if a payment is going to be delayed for any reason(has only happened once).

The amount of FTB I get takes into account the child support that CSA has said I should be getting.

But, I wont hesitate to take it to CSA and ask them to collect for me if he starts being an ass about it.
Image

WillowsMum
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:31 pm
Location: Scoresby, Victoria

Post by WillowsMum » Tue May 29, 2012 4:03 pm

wow - as a family that pays child support (via an agreement) we always understood that as dP's ex is on gov't payments (FTA&B) (as well as working) that the CSA controlled the payments and therefore no option for private. We pay over $100 a week for 2 children (even when we were on low income) - she's going to jump for joy when she gets this year's assessment!!

personally, we would rather it be paid in accordance with CSA's assessment - one less thing to argue over. We don't see any reason why DP's children (all of them) shouldn't benefit if his income is improved. If they were living with us they'd benefit. It's not their fault their parents are separated.

I'd be suspicious and politely decline the offer.
DD B/F - 3 years
<a><img></a>

adk
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:48 pm
Location: Melbourne

Post by adk » Wed May 30, 2012 10:08 pm

Like Meri, we have a private arrangement but it is guided by CSA. We are registered with CSA (so i get all the payments etc), and they send the assessment notices, but my ex just gives me the money, they don't collect it for us. I am incredibly lucky that my ex is in a well paying job and is great with a bit of an extra helping hand at times on top of what he pays in child support, but even then CSA has given him a really hard time sometimes (eg when he put in his tax return late one year) which i wish they wouldn't because i don't have any complaints!!! I love that CSA advocates for me, but at the same time, i do understand when people say they are a bit harsh. Would your ex accept the idea of still being registered with them but not having them actually collect the money?? I assume not, given that he wants them out of the picture entirely, but could it be a compromise option???
Back in the forum with surprise bub number 3!

Post Reply