hi

For many reasons, some mothers find themselves being the sole parent of
their child or children. This category is for those who may be full time
solo parents or for those whose partners work away from home for extended
periods of time, and for every solo parenting situation in between!


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WillowsMum
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:31 pm
Location: Scoresby, Victoria

hi

Post by WillowsMum » Mon Apr 23, 2012 10:17 pm

Not sure I belong here, but I am the partner to a FIFO worker - he is gone 4 weeks out of 5 and by the time he gets the travel out of the way we only see him for 5 days every 5 weeks. Thought I'd pop in here and see if anyone else here is a 'clayton's' solo parent?

We have a 3.5 year old DD and I am 33 weeks pregnant. Makes for fun times. Bub number 2 wasn't supposed to happen for another year.

The idea of going into labour alone at night terrifies me - anyone here done this? how'd you go? (i have hired an independent midwife who is also a friend which should help)
DD B/F - 3 years
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First-timer
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Post by First-timer » Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:43 pm

Hi Willows mum. I am another Clayton's solo mum. My hubby works away ALOT. We have a manufacturing business that operates 4 1/2 hours away so there is no regular times that he gets home to us or we get down to him. For financial reasons we haven't been able to move to the area yet but hopefully things will change this year. Can be up to 5-6 weeks between visits as a norm :cry: Can't help you on the labour front - we only have the 1 son ATM - 2 1/2 yrs. I hope you don't have to be alone. I can understand why it would freak you out! Wish you all the best :-)
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WillowsMum
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:31 pm
Location: Scoresby, Victoria

Post by WillowsMum » Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:33 pm

Hi FT,

Nice to meet you. :lol:
Small business is tough isn't - my father ran a small business when I was growing up - he used to be home in the mornings and we all had family breakfasts and his dinner used to be kept warm in the oven.. He also used to travel a lot, hopefully finances improve and you're able to move to the area - 5-6 weeks are long absences, how do you find your son copes? Or has it always been this way for him?
AT least with us we have regular absences so probably a bit easier than your situation. Mine just got home (for a week) it was soo nice to have someone to put shoes on our daughter this morning, and have someone to have a coffee with. Simple things really.
DD B/F - 3 years
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Westaussie77
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Post by Westaussie77 » Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:26 pm

Hi there

My XH was FIFO when I was pregnant with first and second child

First Child on the last day of his week home I went into labour.

2nd child he flew out at 2am, I got a message to him around midday I thought I may be in labour, he was able to organise flight home - Then around 5pm got tried to get a message to him that I wasnt in labour, then at 11pm I went to hospital he arrived at hospital at midnight. He had been awake for almost 24hours. DS was born at 3:30am. DH even yelled at me during labour.

I was fortunate to have my Mum with me until XH arrived at hospital then she went home to attend to my DD who had woken up in the middle of the night distressed. I think it is wonderful you have a friend with you. I think any support you can have from family and friends at this time is really valuable. I hope it all goes well
Westaussie77

DD Nov 2003 - Breastfed 17mths
DS Nov 2005 - Breastfed 44mths
Solo Parent since April 2006


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WillowsMum
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:31 pm
Location: Scoresby, Victoria

Post by WillowsMum » Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:12 am

Thanks WA - He yelled at you??? That doesn't sound like fun, even if he was tired.

Yeah, I have assembled a pretty good support network I think - having been induced with my DD I don't know what 'going into' labour feels like really - so I think it's the unknown that scares me.
DD B/F - 3 years
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Westaussie77
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Post by Westaussie77 » Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:43 pm

Only minor yelling during labour - Major yelling on day 3 whilst I was still in hospital.

Our marriage ended 5mths later after trying to save it through counselling etc
Westaussie77

DD Nov 2003 - Breastfed 17mths
DS Nov 2005 - Breastfed 44mths
Solo Parent since April 2006


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WillowsMum
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Location: Scoresby, Victoria

Post by WillowsMum » Sun Apr 29, 2012 4:41 pm

Sounds like a difficult time for you.
DD B/F - 3 years
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First-timer
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Post by First-timer » Sun May 20, 2012 11:11 pm

hi again willows mum. sorry about delayed reply. been away visiting DH. It's nice to know that there are others in similar situations. Can make the tough times somewhat easier to swallow IYKWIM ;-) Business was set up when Ds was about 9 months old so is really all he remembers. Is getting harder now as he gets older as it does affect him, it's just hard to really know how. We always have afew really rough days post-daddy (like tonight :-( ) but then we settle back into routine. I try to get him to talk about it but never really get anywhere. I make an effort to talk about and involve Daddy into our days even when he's away. We have phone calls, send silly messages, drawings and recordings on the phone etc. I make sure I tell him how much we all love each other.
You must be getting closer to your due date.... Hope you are feeling a little more confident and comfortable with the possibility. Any way your hubby can get to you quicker if you have bubs at the start of his roster?
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Meri
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Post by Meri » Mon May 21, 2012 2:52 am

My DP isn't FIFO, but he is currently working in the pilbara, he has been there since oct last year, and looks like he'll be there until at least Oct this year.

I've seen him twice since he started up there. for about 10 days in january, then 5 days over easter. I'll be seeing him for another 10-12 days in july.

But, even when he was in Melbourne, he didn't live with me. I live with my parents, and he lived with his mum (about 5 minutes drive from me). My mum didn't approve when my ex(DD's father and I) broke up, and when I started seeing DP, she made it clear that she wouldn't approve of him "moving in". He is allowed to stay overnight though.

So, for that reason, and because DD isn't his (biologically), I am a single parent, but I have the help of family, which is great.
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Ari's Mum
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Post by Ari's Mum » Mon May 21, 2012 9:07 am

Meri dd you apply for the job that you really wanted? I read your post but cant find it to see what the outcome was. Maybe you deleted it?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Storked Norrie and proudly storked by Terramommy...

WillowsMum
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:31 pm
Location: Scoresby, Victoria

Post by WillowsMum » Mon May 21, 2012 10:02 am

Wow Meri, that sounds tricky, mine's over in Port Hedland so not far from yours! (well, comparatively) it's nice that you can get over to see him from time to time. I tried to look into accommodation so we could go and have a weekend when he has a Sunday off, but it is impossible to find any. It's soo expensive and I'd rather save the money so he doesn't have to be away for as long..

First Timer - no, I'm still cooking this baby, but have just hired a second ind midwife so I feel that I can just ring and have someone come and be with me when I go into labour. Although, I have been having regularly 'sessions' with baby to make sure it understands it's not allowed out until the 1st of June. LOL!! Hopefully it agrees.
DD B/F - 3 years
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Meri
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Post by Meri » Mon May 21, 2012 3:51 pm

Nope, I decided not to take the job. My ex wouldn't agree to me taking DD out of the state, and I figured if I decide to take it to court, by the time it is all sorted, the job wouldn't be there for me anymore.
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Ari's Mum
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Post by Ari's Mum » Mon May 21, 2012 5:48 pm

Meri wrote:Nope, I decided not to take the job. My ex wouldn't agree to me taking DD out of the state, and I figured if I decide to take it to court, by the time it is all sorted, the job wouldn't be there for me anymore.

:( Hugs :smt056
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Storked Norrie and proudly storked by Terramommy...

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