Ready to leave

For many reasons, some mothers find themselves being the sole parent of
their child or children. This category is for those who may be full time
solo parents or for those whose partners work away from home for extended
periods of time, and for every solo parenting situation in between!


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smi
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:33 am

Ready to leave

Post by smi » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:47 am

I've just about had enough. My partner works away 6 days a week and comes home to get his washing done and to sleep. He repremands our daughter for things like not giving him a hug :(
My partner is a big spender, he buys car parts, ciggarettes, drink and over indulges on food. We have been living off the scraps he brings home and soup mix and handouts from my Mum. It is coming into winter now and I'd really like to get some warm clothes and boots.
I keep wishing for things to improve and have been wishing since before the birth of our daughter, but i feel i can't wait any longer.
I don't want to take our daughter away from her father. My Dad died when I was 6 and I don't want her to be without her Dad, but at the moment he is not a very nice Dad. He has spurts of having fun with her but I feel that it is because of nagging and guilt trips on my part.
I have spoken to him about seperating and he says that I shouldn't leave DD without a Dad. He constantly tells me he loves me, but he is so negative and I feel I have lost all my self esteem, he doesn't like any of my friends, so I havn't seen them for years and I can't make any new ones that he approves of except for a very pretty stripper that lived next door, now I'm rambling, I could go on and on.
Today I'm contemplating ringing centrelink for the single parenting payment and moving in with Mum
I'm so so upset
Any words of advice before I break this family up.

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Esther
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Location: The better side of the river ;)

Post by Esther » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:49 am

No advice, just couldn't read and not post. I hope you are able to come to a decision and be at peace.
Esther
DD1 05, DS 08, BB 11, DD2 12
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Storked Ellie's Mum, foggylog, jessiemay, Ducks & nat*4

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mrserin
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Location: Perth

Post by mrserin » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:04 am

I've never been in this position so I'm not sure I have any useful advice. I did want to say that Mums are important too - you deserve to be happy and your daughter deserves a happy mum. **hugs** I hope you find some happiness too.
Alice: June 07 (BF 1y5m)
Oscar: Jan 09 (BF 2y9m)
Lucy: March 11 (BF 3y and a few months)

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JMc
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Location: Northern California

Post by JMc » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:12 am

Huge hugs, smi. It must be such a hard decision to make. I have no advice or experience either, but it doesn't sound like he's there much for your daughter. Is it possible that he would see her almost as much on visits but you would be happier and more secure financially without him living with you? I don't want to convince you either way - just thinking out loud. What about couples counseling? Hope you can make a decision that's right for you and your daughter.
DD - November 2009 (Breastfed 19 months)
DS1 - August 2011 (Breastfed 2 years and 8 months)
DS2 - November 2014 (Breastfeeding happily)

smi
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Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:33 am

Post by smi » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:19 am

JMc, that's my line of thinking, and hopefully it would be quality time.
I'm just so scared to take that leap but feel I have no choice. I used to have alot of tools from when I was working and I have sold everything to make ends meet, but I have nothing left now.

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fellare
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Post by fellare » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:26 am

many hugs

why did you have to sell your stuff if he makes money? you're a couple, right? Are you a stay at home mum? He should share his money.
counselling would be good, but you might need to leave first to get it organised. I think counselling is required if you want to divorce anyway? not 100% sure.

If he makes you feel worthless, it's probably better to live with your mum for a while. You're daughter probably is better off with a dad, but not if her dad is not home, and not providing her with what she need (both in love and money) and if dad is causing her mum to feel bad, he's not really worth it IMHO.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

smi
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Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:33 am

Post by smi » Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:29 pm

I'm mostly a stay at home Mum, but I also pick up jobs every now and again, nothing consistant, but good money. Our income is good and I know that if I put DD in full time childcare and worked full time we'd be in the same situation except i would be letting someone else bring up my DD

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3 Little Woody's
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Location: QLD

Post by 3 Little Woody's » Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:56 pm

Just wanted to add a few hugs. I hope you find some answers soon. You and your DD deserve to be happy.
!@~@~!group hug !@~@~!group hug

smi
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Post by smi » Thu Apr 12, 2012 6:09 pm

Thankyou everyone, wish I wasn't in this situation

athome
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Post by athome » Thu May 31, 2012 2:25 pm

I wish you werent in this situation too, im so sorry your dealing with this. How are you getting on now ?

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