Another baffling post

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surfingyogini
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Another baffling post

Post by surfingyogini » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:20 pm

Hmmmm, I don't really like the tone of some of this post... My thought is that advice is just that, advice. Someone is free to make their own decision based on all the advice they have received - to be PO'ed because a stranger doesn't take your advice and then to call them stupid is, IMHO, just rude. Thoughts???

http://www.lrc.asn.au/forum/viewtopic.php?t=15919
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Post by Barbie » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:01 pm

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

cant bring myself to respond to that one!

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Post by greenie » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:06 pm

I am feeling the urge to take a break from the forum for a week or so until the negativity passes over, to be honest. Sorry, surfingyogini, to hijack your thread by talking generally instead of about this other thread in particular, but it seems there are many people in a state of heightened sensitivity who are super easily offended, perhaps it's the post-Christmas wind-down making everyone a little tetchy?

Is there any tactful, supportive way to suggest to someone that maybe they have over-reacted? I don't think it's fair that discussions should be hamstrung by the (in my opinion) disproportionate reactions of a few, when it's obvious to the majority of readers that absolutely no offence was intended by the original poster? I often think about how grateful I am that this isn't my first forum, and that I've been to others previously (particularly the unmoderated ones :shock: ) where offence is most definitely intended, and insults and swear words fly. It makes me appreciate what a gentle place this is!

As for this particular thread, the person who has taken offence may be new to forums, and doesn't realise that just because you post something doesn't mean the intended recipient has to take your advice and say thank you. Maybe with time and visiting other forums she'll realise that it's really common to post your advice and never hear from the intended recipient again, but that doesn't mean they didn't appreciate your input - just a shame that Rileyandme (and everyone who reads it with a knot in their stomach) has to suffer as part of their learning process.
So long everyone! Thanks for everything :-D

Barbie

Post by Barbie » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:16 pm

I PMd R&M

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Post by coran » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:24 pm

greenie wrote: As for this particular thread, the person who has taken offence may be new to forum ... just a shame that Rileyandme (and everyone who reads it with a knot in their stomach) has to suffer as part of their learning process.
This poster is fairly new, and one of her first posts certainly caused suffering. I think that she's getting her mind expanded, and it's hurting. I think it's been handled OK in the thread.

As for escaping the negativity ... there's always a background level of sensitivity and ruffled feathers to smooth.
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Post by cAtdraco » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:49 pm

*nods* I think when I see stuff like this online, I kind of think to myself "wow, that response was a bit out there - I'm guessing that s/he's maybe got something going on right now, or maybe something touched a button." In other words, that sort of stuff rolls right off me. Unless a person posts like that frequently, I just assume that it's a spectacular bit of miscommunication or it's a clash of real life something (where something means stress, current negative state of mind, or similar) and online expectations.
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Post by eilis » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:31 am

Well......... has anyone seen the too much forum use thread? same person with a not so nice post :?
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Post by coran » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:38 am

She also commented on Rileyandme's "All going well" thread:
lovesbabies wrote:im glad to hear however that you started with purees as it is the right thing to do.
It seems that she's an authority on what's 'right'. By implication, DW and I must have done it wrong by not using purees.

It seems to me that she's opinionated and insensitive and it's no wonder that she's felt unwelcome since she's offending people left, right and centre.
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Post by surfingyogini » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:41 am

Goodness and saying this?????
a lot of people om this forum have been rude to me about some of my comments ,advece, but i find it funny as you think your such a good mother and better than others yet your on a computer all day long....
the words get a life come to mind

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I just don't understand this negative, confrontational attitude? Why come here at all of she already knows everything?
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Post by coran » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:48 am

Maybe she feels that since she knows it all, she has a duty to impart her knowledge to an ungrateful world. Ooooh, I'm getting cynical in my old age.
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Post by ~~*Buddha's mumma~~* » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:50 am

Coran Im so glad you posted the question in all going well.
I was really annoyed by the "right way" comment. Cause I've been doing it the "wrong" way then :roll: & I doubt I could have been so polite.
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Post by eilis » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:50 am

coran wrote:Maybe she feels that since she knows it all, she has a duty to impart her knowledge to an ungrateful world. Ooooh, I'm getting cynical in my old age.
maybe :? :wink:
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Post by Barbie » Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:53 am

I have no idea what on earth is going on with her. At first I felt sorry for her and tried to understand from all sides where she could be coming from.

Now I just dont know whats left. She really does make me sad :( I can understand when someone feels like they have been attacked ( even when its a far stretch) but this just came straight out of left field. I just dont know.

Ive gone from sympathising with her to just plain down right angry. I just dont know what to do. As far as I can remember I have avoided replying to her but Im not sure I can any more. Looks like shes just looking for trouble. I felt like I saying to her well if you are so busy being such a great mother then how do you find the time to be here making trouble.

I just dont get it.

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Post by Carrie » Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:16 am

I don't think lovesbabies sees any difference between "I'm glad you're doing that its the right thing" and "I'm glad you're giving it a go" or between "You should do this" and "I tried that". While she doesn't see the difference, she won't understand why she gets peoples heckles up, but the same information (maybe presented in a different way) is gratefully received. Hopefully she'll learn to express herself better. She also says her forum time is snatched from her life as a busy mum (of 5) and that is why her spelling is poor, etc. so she probably doesn't preview her posts.
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Barbie

Post by Barbie » Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:26 am

I think it was H+J's Mummy who summed it up. I dont think anyone thinks shes dumb because of the way she types and spelling mistakes, rude springs to mind though.

Thanks for explaining it that way carrie. Its another way of looking at it.

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