don't want this to be the end

A baby's refusal to feed is a distressing time. Sometimes the refusal is outright; other times just an extreme fussiness. Usually it is temporary and the baby returns to the breast. Share your experiences and support one another through this tough time here.
Post Reply
Me&co
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:18 pm

don't want this to be the end

Post by Me&co » Tue Jul 22, 2014 3:01 pm

Hi,

My DS is 9 1/2 months old and is being really fussy at the breast. He has a few sucks and comes off getting cranky and having a whinge, he will reattach again for a few sucks before coming off again...continuing this sequence until he appears to have had enough. I think it is a supply issue as I don't hear him swallowing very often. I have had issues with my supply since he was 3 months when I had a bout of mastitis and ended up with a nipple ulcer. After he lost weight I started seeing a LC and worked really hard to increase my supply with supply lines, expressing and medications. I felt like my supply was back to normal and weaned off the medication, but then I started casual work a month ago and it has all gone south again. I do express while I'm at work, but I have never had much luck with it. I am back on the medication and trying to express, but nothing seems to be working. I am not sure what else to do and I'm really worried that this could be the end of my breastfeeding experience. Im not concerned about my DS having formula because he does have some now when I'm at work as I don't express enough for him. My worry is more an emotional one. I like the time I get to spend with him breastfeeding, but unfortunately it is not a fun time anymore with him getting frustrated and me getting frustrated about it not working. How have others dealt with poor supply at this age? Also, How have others dealt with making the heartbreaking decision to stop breastfeeding?
I really wanted to feed till he was 12 months old and I am having all sorts of mummy guilt over my low supply.

User avatar
Nedsmum
Posts: 9552
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:36 am
Location: Switzerland

Re: don't want this to be the end

Post by Nedsmum » Tue Jul 22, 2014 3:49 pm

What are you offering as an alternative? What other food/drink is he having?

He may have just worked out that coming on and off gets the letdown faster. It can be super-annoying but it is not a major problem....

How many times a day/night are you feeding ?

At this age, they often become more 'cling' and 'demanding' but also are reliant on routine/predictability so the new rhythm might be taking a little time to get used to.

I think there is a 'soft spot' for weaning around 10-12 months, where some babies do spontaneously wean, and can be weaned to 'family foods' without needing bottles. If you persist to around 14 months, they often come back to breastfeeding 'demanding' strongly, and from then on the toddler is in charge!

Are you offering a lot of bottles? With teats or sippers? If you are, I would suggest practicing with a small glass (shot glass), with adult supervision, and focus on independence rather than quantity. By 12 months it is often recommended to phase out bottle because of 'teeth decay' reasons, and you have changed the dynamic of breastfeeding for milk, water or milk only in a cup, and focused eating, avoiding having the child taking a bottle around the house, eating meals properly together at the table (even if it only lasts 5 minutes!).

Wow....weaning is complex!
Breastmilk - the ultimate 'brain food'!!!

User avatar
fellare
Posts: 7407
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:59 am
Location: here
Contact:

Re: don't want this to be the end

Post by fellare » Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:11 pm

big hugs, that sounds a really frustrating situation and I am so sorry it's hard on you.

How do you feel about calling the help line? They can talk you through the specifics of your situation and work out what is going on exactly. It could be so many things! teething (which is to blame for everything), injury, supply issues, age, wonder week.
it's not uncommon for nursing strikes to happen at this age. But often it's fixable with a few adjustments.

you can also email a counsellor, if you're a member, just click on the number on the right side of your screen. Or visit your local group.
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

Me&co
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:18 pm

Re: don't want this to be the end

Post by Me&co » Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:00 pm

Thanks so much for your replies. Nedsmum- I am only doing casual work and mostly nights, so DS is asleep whilst I'm gone and I do the occasional weekend shift when he is home with his dad, so his routine is the same. He feeds 4 (sometimes 5) times a day at the breast and has a bottle top up at bedtime because I know my supply is low then and that is his worst feed. When I work on weekends he will have 1-2 bottles while I'm away. He is also having 3 meals a day and occasional snack in the afternoon. I have thought about dropping another daytime feed and replacing with a snack but haven't done this yet.
Fellfare- my DS did have a problem with torticollis and ended up with positional plagiocephaly as a result. My LC thinks this is what contributed to my mastitis in the first place. After visiting an osteopath that seems to be all sorted. I really do think this is a supply issue as I know just after I had mastitis he did the same thing and that is when I discovered he had lost weight and my milk had just about dried up. I have run out of ideas for increasing my supply. I am trying to get in to see my LC this week as she knows the background story already...this is why I've been hesitant to call the helpline.

Jenbt85
Posts: 3251
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:13 am
Location: Melbourne

Re: don't want this to be the end

Post by Jenbt85 » Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:07 pm

I'm sorry that you're going through this, it's hard enough weaning when you are choosing to and it would be hard having it stop before you are ready. I empathise with the feelings of guilt, we really give ourselves a hard time as mums! It sounds like you have already done so much to establish breastfeeding and to keep it going for as long as you can, be gentle with yourself and recognise the achievement of getting this far with supply problems.

I second calling the helpline if you're open to that. They've always been brilliant when I have called and give tailored advice.
DS - bf 18.5 months (565 days)!
DD - breastfeeding

Storked by the fabulous forumites: AussieBritLu and PellyintheWilderness

Openly storking AussieBritLu

Jenbt85
Posts: 3251
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:13 am
Location: Melbourne

Re: don't want this to be the end

Post by Jenbt85 » Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:08 pm

Ooh, just saw your reply to Fellare and Nedsmum. LC sounds like a great option :)
DS - bf 18.5 months (565 days)!
DD - breastfeeding

Storked by the fabulous forumites: AussieBritLu and PellyintheWilderness

Openly storking AussieBritLu

User avatar
ClOuD_NiNe
Posts: 1915
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:16 pm
Location: NZ

Re: don't want this to be the end

Post by ClOuD_NiNe » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:48 pm

I went through a similar situation when DS was that age. From around 6 months he was REALLY fussy on the breast... on off on off, pulling and impatient, very distracted. He damaged one of my nipples and feeding on that side was painful. It got to the point where he wouldn't feed in the day anymore, he was too distracted. He was only feeding once or twice overnight and my supply dropped right off. I no longer felt a letdown and I couldn't hear him swallow, it was just for comfort.

He was eating lots of solids and happily took a bottle so I wasn't worried about his nutrition. He had his last feed at 10 months, it was a conscious decision and an easy one for me - we wanted to TTC and my cycles weren't back yet. I still felt guilty though, I wanted to make it to 12 months and then there was that thought of "what if I can't get pregnant again and I have weaned him for nothing??" (Luckily that didn't happen). I also felt guilty because it was a relief not to worry about my damaged nipple anymore and painful feeds! Ultimately though it was the best decision for our family, he never looked back (which made me feel a little rejected to be honest!) and he now has a sibling.

Weaning is such a hard decision and I don't think there are many mums who wouldn't feel some kind of guilt during the process. We all want what's best for our babies. Good luck with your decision!
DS July 11 - bf for 10 months
Image
Storked by the lovely mooki
Image
~WildChild~ was my storker

Post Reply