11 week old refusing so upsetting

A baby's refusal to feed is a distressing time. Sometimes the refusal is outright; other times just an extreme fussiness. Usually it is temporary and the baby returns to the breast. Share your experiences and support one another through this tough time here.
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Lozaroo
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11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Lozaroo » Tue Apr 29, 2014 8:20 pm

My 11 week old little girl has this week started to refuse to feed randomly first time was when she was in middle of feeding and my son needed to go to Toliet so I had to put her down, tried to put her back on the same breast she wanted no part in that crying and arching her back away, offered her the other side after a small amount of fussing she took it happily I took that as breast wasn't as full anymore and she had to work to get milk out. Then tonight before bed time she was sucking hands and my shoulder put her towards breast same thing as b4 arching away from breast crying either from being hungry or not wanting boob after expressing a bit into her crying mouth she got picture but it was very upsetting for both of us. I got my period back very early like when she was around 7 weeks and I am pretty sure I was ovulating yesterday can that affect refusal I am on mini pill but have been on it nearly a month I am at a lost here my son was such a boob boy couldn't keep him of it. I have been on so many different websites reading how to help but with a 2.5 year old boy it's hard to do a lot of the suggestions. I am prob over reacting since it's only been Twice but I so worried which prob isn't helping, I think I am just after some reassurance

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Yankee
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Yankee » Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:25 pm

Big hugs! I'm sure more reassurance and advice will be along shortly but I just wanted to offer my sympathies. My bub has gone through fussy phases like that here and there, and it is just so heartbreaking!!! But if it's any reassurance, my DD came good each time.
DD born September 2013

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Yankee
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Yankee » Sun May 04, 2014 11:37 am

I wanted to check in and see how you're doing Lozaroo. I was thinking of you today because my DD refused the breast twice last night - full-on screaming, inconsolable, wouldn't bf in any position, would hardly calm down enough to catch her breath, then start screaming again as soon as she was near the breast. We had to give her a bottle of ebm the first time, which she took happily. Then in the middle of the night, same thing, I was so distraught I woke up my husband (not that he could do much to help). That time I sat her upright with a sippy cup of water, she took a sip and calmed down a little, and I offered the breast sitting in the same position and she FINALLY took it. Just like that she's back to loving the boob and feeding in normal positions, as if nothing happened.

No idea what the problem was. She has a cold and stuffy nose but she's had it all week. No fever, no earache we could see, not teething. It's so incredibly distressing when it happens!
DD born September 2013

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fellare
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by fellare » Sun May 04, 2014 12:23 pm

Sorry I missed your post earlier. That does sound hard breaking! Had it solved?
Boobymonster weaned at 3.5yrs.
Ms Firestorm born august 2015
Whatever you perceive to believe, dream.... be free.... (eMDee)

Lozaroo
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Lozaroo » Mon May 05, 2014 7:41 pm

Hey, we are going ok.. Morning feeds are the hardest I have been blessed by a baby who likes sleep and sleeps throu the night, which is all great but I wake up with massive boobs and they just don't get the picture that they don't need to get so full. I have been just going on her lead where as b4 when she woke I would try and put her on straight away many for my comfort and thinking she just had a huge sleep she would be hungry but not my social butterfly she wants to say hello to dad brother the cat and the whole world b4 she is ready.
Day feeds I am trying to feed her as soon as she wakes after naps since she is still sleepy but she is very distracted comes off a lot either for a burp or to see what all that noise was about getting her back on is hard doesn't really want a bar of it but crying is hunger cry, arching back pulling away from me but as soon as she gets nipple in mouth she goes for it ?? Weird I don't no why she does it what triggered it, it's still really upsetting and makes me super nervous about feeding out and about.
I really hope this is just a phase that has randomly come and randomly goes away sooner rather then later..
It's such a terrible feeling that you cannot help ur baby, I feel for you and everyone who is going throu any type of refusal i really felt like a failure and still kinda do.. The last week has been so stressful goes over everything I ate to new moisturizer reading this forum to it feel every other forum on Google about refusal. I hope everything works out for you Yankee

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Yankee
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Yankee » Mon May 05, 2014 9:45 pm

More hugs Lozaroo! You are not a failure! I know it's hard to hear that but you're doing everything you can. Hopefully your morning engorgement will settle down as your body realises it doesn't need to make so much milk overnight. You can express a bit for comfort if that helps ... Do you know how to hand express, maybe in the shower if you shower before you feed her in the morning?

Thankfully my DD's latest refusal was just temporary, she's back to being a boobaholic. Fingers crossed things settle down for you and that your bubs is just going through a short phase. Have you tried calling the ABA helpline? They can be super helpful.
DD born September 2013

Lozaroo
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Lozaroo » Tue May 06, 2014 8:17 am

I will give the helpline a call on Thursday since my son is a daycare and he thinks everyone wants to talk I him aswell.
I have been going through all the things that could be causing this can she be teething already she is 3 months this week but she gets those hands in her mouth and her fingers come out red from chomping on them she isn't sucking, she also seems the grind her gums together when she is up on my shoulder as I can hear it.
I am just unsure, she will feed a small time come off I will sit her up and burp her lay her down again to feed that's when she starts to grizzle and pull away but is either sit her up on shoulder she will suck and nussle into me same if she gets to my arm, so she is still hungry and I no she hasn't had enough, so I kinda have to bring her to breast like you do with a newborn and compress it a bit to get he to realise that all she has to do is suck and she will take it. I no I prob shouldn't be forcing her onto boob but it seems it's the only way to get her to feed

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Yankee
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Yankee » Tue May 06, 2014 9:49 am

I'm not a counselor, but a couple of thoughts. 3 months is probably too early for full-on teething but they could be starting to move in the gums. On the other hand, maybe she's just 'discovered' her mouth - babies LOVE exploring the world by putting things in their mouth. I know my bub went through a phase where she loved sucking on her hands, before moving on to the next skill to practice.

Also, she could be getting more efficient with her feeds. I just looked back through my posts and at about 10 weeks is when I noticed my DD suddenly got more efficient - gone were the slow 45 minute daytime feed sessions!

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=86182

I forgot about that time, but it looks like what I personally did was pop her on the other breast when she started to thrash and pop off, then if she still seemed hungry I popped her back on the first breast after that.

Good luck!
DD born September 2013

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Ronale
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Re: 11 week old refusing so upsetting

Post by Ronale » Tue May 06, 2014 11:40 am

Hi lozaroo, it can be really upsetting when our babies seem to not want a feed. Yankee has given you some good ideas...if you called me on the helpline I would probably ask about how many feeds a day your little girl is having, and how many wet nappies. For reference, we normally like to see at least 5 heavily wet nappies and 8-12 feeds in 24 hours. Do you think she is meeting these guidelines?
Another thing I might ask would be about weight gains. I've found it quite confusing when I've gone to the child health nurse here as the graphs they have on the computer are not the who chart graphs, although I believe in the books they now are. If you have a look here https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-inf ... ight-gains you can see what is normal if you scroll down for the actual charts.
I might also ask about whether you notice the let down happening. Some mothers don't *feel* the let down! but if you watch a baby's sucking pattern closely you can sometimes see it happening. When a baby first attaches they have a suck pattern like suck-suck-suck this changes after a little bit to more of a suck-swallow type pattern. When you notice the change the milk has let down and the baby is getting lots of milk. Do you notice this change? Some mums find if they watch closely they notice a few let downs during a feed
Depending on how you answered the above questions, we would then discuss various options for you and your dd. remember, that the ladies taking calls on helpline are mums too, so they well know the joys of chatting with little boys about their train set first if necessary. Perhaps you would feel more up to chatting once your little boy was in bed? The helpline is available 24/7/365, so it is available when you need it. Another option might be email counselling if you are a member.
I hope today is going well
DS 06.10
DS2 01.13
DS3 07.15 Storked by the fantabulous moOKI

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