Breast refusal - 3 months old

A baby's refusal to feed is a distressing time. Sometimes the refusal is outright; other times just an extreme fussiness. Usually it is temporary and the baby returns to the breast. Share your experiences and support one another through this tough time here.
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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:48 pm

I have emailed the person LTM mentioned to book an appointment.

Supply is not the issue though, I just filled a bottle in 10 mins off my left breast. There was still more milk but I didn't have another bottle to hand.

And I think he IS hungry - I gave him a small amount in a bottle and he was trying to drink it but his tongue was going all over the shop.
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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dellywatts
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Post by dellywatts » Mon Nov 04, 2013 4:09 pm

The needing to rock until nearly asleep, arching the back, screaming and breast refusal all sounds so much like DD1 who was diagnosed with silent reflux. She had the opposite issues with poos though and would get constipated. Bowel movements can certainly be affected with reflux in different ways.


Would it be unusual to develop an allergy at 3 months? Absolutely not. DD2's allergy didn't start to present until she was 3 months old. It can take several months of exposure to the allergen to start noticing an affect, especially in non IgE mediated allergies (gut related allergies).
DD1 ~ 9/2007
DS ~ 2/2009 bf for just over 4 yrs
DD2 ~ 3/2011 bf for nearly 2 yrs
DD3 ~ 12/2013 bfing

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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Mon Nov 04, 2013 5:26 pm

I have weighed him today (same scales) and zero gain. He still won't drink from a bottle or cup.

I feel like a complete failure as a mother. I can't get him fed. I just don't know what else to do.

I have asked to see the dietician on Friday. It can't come soon enough.

My heart is breaking. Add that to the difficulties we are having with Thomas (he has dropped 3 percentile lines) and I'm a complete and utter wreck. I cannot seem to get my babies fed :(
Last edited by Rachwa on Mon Nov 04, 2013 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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Esther
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Post by Esther » Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:31 pm

Hugs Rach. It does take 2 to feed, or not. It's not at all *all* your fault and I really hope you solve this soon for both your boys.

xo
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Andypandy
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Post by Andypandy » Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:00 pm

Rachwa wrote:I have weighed him today (same scales) and zero gain. He still won't drink from a bottle or cup.

I feel like a complete failure as a mother. I can't get him fed. I just don't know what else to do.

I have asked to see the dietician on Friday. It can't come soon enough.

My heart is breaking. Add that to the difficulties we are having with Thomas (he has dropped 3 percentile lines) and I'm a complete and utter wreck. I cannot seem to get my babies fed :(
I can see you seem stressed. This is not your fault.
I would not worry about the scales. It is hard to tell in a short time frame. A wee/poo/breastfeed could make a difference. It can take time to recover from sickness as well.

You sound really upset and stressed. As your friend can i recommend enlisting some support. I feel like your head needs a,break. Do you want me to take T out sometime?

Btw: my mum thought both your kids looked magnificent and thought T was a lovely behaved boy.
DS1: May 09 Breastfed 2y7m
DS2: Oct 2012 Breastfed 2y1m I am pretending he is weaned
DD: Feb 2015

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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Tue Nov 05, 2013 9:27 am

That's a kind offer Andy. Unfortunately Thomas is sick and had a croupy cough last night so we are housebound for a bit :(

The weight on its own isn't a huge big deal - but I weighed him because he dropped a clothing size, is unhappy and if I don't wake him on the boob and push feeds on him he is not getting enough wet nappies. A weight plateau (or just small gains) at this stage I think would be fine given his previous gains. But he is a completely different baby :(

My current strategy is lots of play with his mouth - poking tongue out, encouraging him to lick his lips etc and lots of non pressure time with access to the breast (and sadly, a fair bit of ABC2 for Thomas).
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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Yankee
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Post by Yankee » Tue Nov 05, 2013 10:27 am

Just hugs and encouragement from me. Feeling like you can't feed your baby ... I've been there and it's the most devastating thing I've ever felt.

Go gently.
DD born September 2013

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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Tue Nov 05, 2013 5:57 pm

He seems a bit happier today and has accepted some feeds while awake.

I did not have any dairy after about 11:00am yesterday. Not intentionally, but when I realised I didn't have any I skipped my cereal this morning.

I would think it would be too early to see any improvement so maybe it is a self-limiting irritation relating to the gastro...who knows. Nappies have not been great today but less screaming is a win.

ETA screaming plus in the evening, woke a few times overnight but didn't feed properly. Nappy barely wet this morning but another mucousy poo and his nappy had to be snapped tighter this morning. :(
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:42 pm

Two steps forward two steps back. Back to screaming, breast refusal, dry or barely wet nappies with a mucousy poo each feed. Rocking, walking, baby wearing he still cries. I don't want to leave the house. My toddler is sad all the time because Hugo and I are crying. I feel so useless. My children are suffering.

Every time I take him to a health professional he smiles and they say he looks healthy and send us home. He IS fine - until he gets hungry.

He won't drink from a bottle or a cup. I have no options other than putting one foot in front of the other and hoping something will finally help.
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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ClOuD_NiNe
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Post by ClOuD_NiNe » Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:48 pm

Hugs Rach, that sounds really tough. Did you get an appt with the person mentioned earlier in this thread?
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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Fri Nov 15, 2013 1:03 pm

Yes I did - given some improvement with me off dairy we suspect he is intolerant to that and I'm gearing up to do the full elimination diet now. It is extremely restrictive and I was hoping dairy was all it was :( I will now be excluding dairy, soy, egg, shellfish, preservatives and additives, salicylates, amines and glutamate and I'm allergic to nuts so I already exclude those. I should also exclude wheat/gluten but to be honest I don't think we would have anything to eat. With DH away for work etc all the time it is hard enough getting any meal on the table between the screaming :(
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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manomummy
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Post by manomummy » Fri Nov 15, 2013 1:42 pm

I just wanted to offer hugs. :smt056
DS 06 - BF for 28 months
DD1 09 - BF for 33 months
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marie7
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Post by marie7 » Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:25 pm

Oh rachwa, I'm sorry I have no allergy experience or advice, just wanted to offer big hugs and support xx
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ClOuD_NiNe
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Post by ClOuD_NiNe » Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:37 pm

I'm so sorry. A good friend of mine did an elimination diet for similar reasons last year. Her boy had already started solids and they worked out he was intolerant to dairy, nuts, egg, gluten and fish.

FWIW she ended up cooking a lot of casseroles, soups and stews, as well as plain roasted or fried/grilled meat and veg. She made her own chicken stock which is ridiculously easy to do, and used the stock as a base for soups, stews and casseroles. She also made curries with coconut milk, and used a lot of coconut oil in cooking - she would even eat it by the spoonful to get enough calories as the diet was pretty restrictive and she was already very thin. The supermarket beginning with W sells coconut oil. She would also make smoothies with coconut milk, fruit, honey, coconut oil, maybe some flax meal or chia seeds to bulk it up, or a spoonful of cacao. Not sure if you can eat any of that stuff?
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Rachwa
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Post by Rachwa » Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:05 pm

Unfortunately no coconut milk or honey or fruit (other than pears) on the elimination diet. I need to get on with it and do it - I'm just so used to cooking with heaps of veg and herbs and spice - not allowed. I'm sure it will be easier than I think it will be...
DS1 (T) Dec 2010, weaned Dec 2012
DS2 (H) July 2013, milk is in!

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