Very upset and really need your help

A baby's refusal to feed is a distressing time. Sometimes the refusal is outright; other times just an extreme fussiness. Usually it is temporary and the baby returns to the breast. Share your experiences and support one another through this tough time here.
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ginny
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Very upset and really need your help

Post by ginny » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:26 pm

Hello
My story is very long but I'll cut it short.
My dd3 is 11 weeks. She has always been a quick feeder 5-10 mins and her gains are steady but not massive. 'low normal' they tell me.
Anyway we ended up a RCH two weeks ago as she refused feeds one day well, from 9 am onwards. Had a little suck here or there but came off screaming (big comfort SUCKER not feeder) happy for the dummy and very unsettled and got mildly dehydrated.
They to,d me to stop bf and trial a hydrolysed formula strictly for two weeks then if her behavior ( v unsettled) was no better then we could rule out allergies. So. Expressed 6 times a day. Kept my supply up. Came home a week into the trial, and have done a few sneaky bf :( . Can't believe i Have to hide it.

My question is: she is no better as far as temperament goes. Still feisty and carries on and is difficult to settle easily. Spending a whole week in a hospital room her and I , I got to know her very well and realized she is v sensitive like my first dd and gets overtired so so so easily. Once I realized that,things have been better.
ANYWAY
I want to breastfeed desperately. I fed my last till she said no... At about 2.
This dd3 I have started to bf the night feeds while she is sleepy. She takes my right ok, but screams at the left. Tried a lunchtime feed today on the left and she went nuts.i gave her a bottle and she drank it.... :(
I feel so very unhappy with myself that I was convinced to do this trial with the formula. Now she is refusing my breasts and I Feel absolutely devastated.
Do you have any advice for me? Should I persist? I feel so sad.
Thank you
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TeamEdward
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Post by TeamEdward » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:46 pm

hey, not much I can say to help, but wanted to offer support. there is an aba booklet about coping with refusal from mothers direct.
I've also heard that a major refusal on one side could be something to do withher neck? alignment. there was a paper I heard bits of at vic branch conference. anyone else got details?
take care
te
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3 Little Woody's
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Post by 3 Little Woody's » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:51 pm

Have you rung the helpline? The counsellors might have some advice.

Sounds very stressful, I hope you get some answers soon.
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mum2H&R
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Post by mum2H&R » Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:34 pm

has anyone checked her ears? What she is doing sounds exactly what my DS1 was doing when he was about 12 weeks, it my my lactation consultant that suggested that I get his ears checked - turned out he had an ear infection
DS1 - April 06
DS2 - August 08
DD - October 10

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Gwen's Mum
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Post by Gwen's Mum » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:03 am

That sounds a really stressful situation for you, ginny - I'm so sorry things have been so tough. I'd definitely second the suggestion of calling the ABA helpline to discuss everything with a trained counsellor - they'll be able to give you as much time as you need to talk through all the aspects of what's been happening, and help put together a plan of action to hopefully get your LO back to the breast.


FWIW - temporary breast refusal can happen for lots of different reasons, including that bubs is in discomfort from teething, ear infection, or something else; they're getting really distracted during feeds; or a whole other bunch of factors. It's great that you've followed your instincts and kept trying to offer the breast - and pumping to maintain your supply, too. What an amazing job you're doing! A counsellor will probably talk through some more options about encouraging your LO to return to the breast, and some other tips to maintain your supply during this time.

Oh, and I meant to mention, too - not only can breast refusal happen for lots of different reasons, but as you probably know from previous experience, some bubs are just quite unsettled during the first few weeks and months. My DD pretty much spent every nap being carried in the sling, until she was about 6 months old! Her sleep and settling behaviour changed drastically after that, though. :)

Hope that helps somewhat, and congratulations on your new addition! :)
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mooki
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Re: Very upset and really need your help

Post by mooki » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:04 am

ginny wrote: They to,d me to stop bf and trial a hydrolysed formula strictly for two weeks then if her behavior ( v unsettled) was no better then we could rule out allergies.
So did they base their thoughts on allergies simply for her being usettled?

Sounds like its been pretty tough lately. First off, lots of hugs. The three previous suggestions are all good ones.

For the side she is refusing, could you try a couple of different positions? Can you feed laying down at all? try feeding in the bath/shower?
x

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ginny
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Post by ginny » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:10 am

Thank you for your replies x
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mooki
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Post by mooki » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:56 am

i didnt see gwens mums reply till just now but my DS started teething at about 9 weeks and has just got his first tooth last week so that could be another culprit

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Tilly
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Post by Tilly » Fri Jun 22, 2012 6:09 pm

My DD1 had trouble bf and one major factor was that she had torticollis and one side actually hurt.
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