an anglican funeral

A place for support when the unthinkable happens and we lose a loved one.
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Post by MinnieD » Thu May 09, 2013 10:47 pm

Sending my love and thoughts my beautiful friend xxxx
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Post by JMc » Fri May 10, 2013 2:06 am

Hi Momi! I come from Wollongong. It's possible that you might even be going to my home church (I'm in the States atm). Wollongong is very multi cultural and there is a large Muslim population. Lots of the churches run ESL classes and the people (even the old ones!) are used to interacting with people of all different religions and backgrounds. If you feel more comfortable changing what you normally wear, go for it! But if you'd rather not, I would just wear what I normally wear.

I'm assuming the no children thing is coming from the relatives rather than the church. I do not know of an Anglican Church in Wollongong which is not actively welcoming children and trying to provide a great experience and place for them (after all it's a great way to grow Christianity!). I guess you know the family situation best and if you feel your dress with be a problem you can deal with the issue as you think best. But I really don't think you need to think of the funeral being in a church as any different to a secular setting. In fact, I would hope the Christians would be more welcoming, not less.

As pp said, it will be very informal. The minister will most likely be wearing a suit and tie (haven't worn dog collars at my old church for years) and while there will be hymns and prayer there will only be few times people stand - to sing and to say the creed. Sometimes (very rarely now) there is communion at funerals. If this happens you can just stay in your seat and that will be what people will expect you (and any other non Christian) to do.

Hope it all goes well and that you can fondly farewell your grandfather in law without having to worry about all the other things!
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Post by Monicat » Fri May 10, 2013 11:56 am

momi wrote:Monicat - I normally wear niqab, the face veil and although I do show my hands and eyes I am usually al in black. I appreciate your words about enjoying seeing other cultures dress, the reason I am going to tone it down is due to the act that many elderly people there will never have seen it before and my intention is to ensure that everyone is comfortable. I also know for a fact that a few people there are very intolerant so I am dothis in the best interests of all attending, I don't.want there to be a scene etc it is a time of mourning and honoring the life of someone much loved to me and mine and if I dressed the way I usually do then I feel all eyes would be on me and it would detract from the essence of the day if that makes sense at all.
Makes total sense, I know people tend to find a niqab more confronting than a hijab for some reason. I agree you are very thoughtful to do this, but yes it's definitely sad that you feel you have to (because of other people intolerances)

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Post by momi » Fri May 10, 2013 5:14 pm

hi ladies, just got home. we honoured Grandpa and remembered him and spent time with family and friends.
thankfully there was none of what i was trying to avoid.
it's been such an emotionally draining day. i don't think i have ever cried so much out of grief. i'm kind of numb now. going to bed early, have to teach tomorrow and get my assignment done.
thank you so much for your support and help, it means a lot to have you all as a support network when i need it. i hope you and yours are well.

love momi

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Post by pseudo » Fri May 10, 2013 5:20 pm

Big hugs to you and your family xx.


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Post by Penguin » Fri May 10, 2013 6:14 pm

Glad you got to say goodbye momi. Big hugs again xxxx
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Post by Carrie » Sat May 11, 2013 12:29 pm

Thinking of you.
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Post by Monicat » Sat May 11, 2013 1:05 pm

So glad you got to spend the funeral concentrating on your Grandad and his life :)

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Post by katw » Sat May 11, 2013 2:09 pm

Just seeing this thread now, momi, hugs.
katw - mum to 3 girls Superhero 2002, Fairy 2006, Goldeneyes 2009 and one boy - Lennylion 2012

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