Am I depressed or just completely exhausted???

Stressed….depressed or just feeling emotionally isolated and in need of a chat? Sometimes the labels don’t fit but the emotional baggage we carry is the same…….if your life isn’t all beautiful like the nappy ads would have us believe, feel free to have a chat here. It’s important to have somewhere safe where you can be yourself and talk about the things that REALLY matter.


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Tbird
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:22 pm

Am I depressed or just completely exhausted???

Post by Tbird » Tue May 15, 2012 1:00 pm

Hi - I've started to consider whether I am suffering depression. I feel like crap a lot of the time, and it is usually an effort to feel good (although I do have good days). BUT I am very sleep deprived thanks to my 2 year old who still breastfeeds overnight (not to mention the 4 year old who thinks 6am is time to wake up every single day). So hardly a full nights sleep in the past 2 years. And I've been trying to nightwean for the last fortnight, which is going ok in that DS2 is mostly accepting the situation, but he won't sleep well in the middle of the night, so I'm even more tired than normal. I think he might be getting his molars as well so that could be an issue with sleep too.

I guess normally I would say it's just tiredness, but we've had a really rough time over the last 2.5 years with various health and relationship issues in the family. We're on the mend now which is great, but I feel really flat and worn out which I think is related to those situations. And I can tell I have no energy for relationships with friends at the moment which worries me. And I'm too tired to do my part time job properly, and I feel really unmotivated on that front.

I guess my thinking is that if I am depressed/worn out rather than just tired, what do I do about it? I'm seeing a psychologist already which helps, but I'm starting to think that I might need to find ways to reduce the stress in my life to an absolute minimum to give myself a chance to recover. Which potentially would mean quitting my job, which is doable but feels like a big step even though I only work 1 day a week.

Or should I look at ADs? I've never really seriously considered them before because it seemed like the sitations I was in were at fault and therefore tried to manage my way around them, but now I'm wondering if it would be more sensible to go the medication route rather than trying to make life super easy which lets face it might not be possible!!!

I have a follow up doctors appt in about 6 weeks to see if upping my vitamins and exercising is helping, perhaps if I still feel this way then I should discuss meds with her.

Or maybe I should just try to get some more early nights!! I wonder if I am overreacting and as soon as the nightweaning settles down (fingers crossed!!) I will feel more able to manage. Thing is, its been over 2 years of always feeling exhausted and even if there is a clear reason for it, it's wearing thin.

Thanks for reading, it's helpful to just 'brain dump' here!

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jessles
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Post by jessles » Tue May 15, 2012 1:46 pm

No advice, just hugs.

I often wonder if my "blurgh" is just being a mum or if there is something else going on.

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JMc
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Post by JMc » Tue May 15, 2012 1:57 pm

Hugs from me too.

Any chance you have an illness like chronic fatigue?
DD - November 2009 (Breastfed 19 months)
DS1 - August 2011 (Breastfed 2 years and 8 months)
DS2 - November 2014 (Breastfeeding happily)

Karen81
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Post by Karen81 » Tue May 15, 2012 2:39 pm

To me this seems like such a common question amongst mums. It's so hard to know what's normal and what actually needs medication.

I tend to think if all of the self help things aren't helping anymore, such as enough rest (yep - early bedtime is a good idea if you can manage it I reckon), meditation, time for yourself (a good book), exercise, a good diet and supplements - then it's time to consider something else.

It is such a hard question to answer for yourself. It was easy for me because I was not functioning at all. Couldn't get out of bed with my anxiety. My situation was very black and white so I knew the meds were necessary. If I could of gotten my sh*t together without them I would have.

Huge hugs. I reckon sleep deprivation, the cold weather, the demands of parenting and sometimes just what life throws at us get way too much sometimes.

Tbird
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:22 pm

Post by Tbird » Tue May 15, 2012 4:21 pm

Thanks everyone. Karen, I think you are so right, sometimes it does just get all too much. Your point about trying the self help things first is a good one.

I don't think it's chronic fatigue, although I guess there's always the chance. I have had blood tests done a while ago to check for thyroid probs and other things that can cause tiredness and the only thing that came up was I was low in vitamin D. The doctor did say that there are things they can do to help if the tiredness doesn't lift so I might have to explore that option down the track if the extra vitamins I'm taking don't do much.

I think it's not so much the tiredness that worries me, as the feeling like I just can't be bothered.

Karen81
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Post by Karen81 » Tue May 15, 2012 6:10 pm

Have you thought about seeing a naturopath? I feel like that's my answer to everything on this forum :) I see the best naturopath and she's helped me immensely with my anxiety. When I went to see her after DD2 she gave me some herbs to help relax my adrenal system and induce sleep, zinc (apparently there's a link between zinc deficiency and depression), vitamin b, a good multi and heaps of omega 3's. She also whipped my diet back into shape (lots of protein).

Not sure where you are but she's on the central coast in NSW. I also know a fabulous one in Sydney. It's important if you do go, to see someone who really knows about womens health. Mine is all about building a healthy immune system and improving vitality and energy.

Oh also if your Doc hasn't done it - thy should be running some bloods to check your iron, thyroid, vit b etc. These all impact on our vitality.

WillowsMum
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Post by WillowsMum » Wed May 30, 2012 11:21 am

I don't have PND, but have a depressive mood disorder, that causes ups and downs (like bipolar but not anywhere near as severe) on a cyclical basis.

For what it's worth - my psychologist 'made' me put my DD in daycare one day a week - she was going occassionally anyway - and instructed me to take myself to to the movies. Even if it was just once a month (i initially balked at the weekly thing). Now, I find that 'downtime' really valuable and know my depression is worse when I don't take it.

I only have one DD (with 2 due any moment now) and felt awful putting her in care so I could have 'me' time, because I was working and she was being looked after by other people a lot, but the difference it made in being able to interact with her (and the rest of the world) was amazing. Also, I was able to hire a cleaner once a fortnight to come and do floors and bathrooms for me and that is an amazing feeling. I think I have the energy now to save the money that I spend on cleaner/daycare on cooking snacks and meals rather than getting take away all the time cos it's too hard. Also, I'm not taking my depression out by shopping it away so it's actually been better financially doing those little things to take care of me. Who'd have thought - the psych was right LOL!!!

And I have low Vit D too. Good luck, hope you can get some rest!!
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DD B/F - 3 years
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Tbird
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:22 pm

Post by Tbird » Tue Jul 17, 2012 1:17 pm

Just popping back in to say thanks for the replies - they were helpful and very kind of you.

I've ended up getting some extra vitamins and natural remedies, and cutting back on work hours, which gives me a bit of time to myself (as I've kept the kids in daycare for 1 day a week). Still not getting enough sleep but overall feeling like I can manage more than a few months ago :)

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