Real better or fake better?

Stressed….depressed or just feeling emotionally isolated and in need of a chat? Sometimes the labels don’t fit but the emotional baggage we carry is the same…….if your life isn’t all beautiful like the nappy ads would have us believe, feel free to have a chat here. It’s important to have somewhere safe where you can be yourself and talk about the things that REALLY matter.

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Real better or fake better?

Post by leanned76 » Thu Aug 26, 2010 6:57 pm

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with PND when DD was a few weeks old. I tried really hard to cope and just get on with my life. i thought i just had the "baby blues" and it would pass. I dont think i can put into words how overwhelmed i felt / feel at times that it actually scared me. I felt so disspointed that my body wasn't coping.
After months of counselling and trying to avoid medication i have started on an anti depressant and i guess what i want to know is ( i know you cant hand out medical advice) but will i only be better whilst on meds? Which i am calling fake better or am i really going to get better and be me again?
i am so scared it doesn't go away. My GP seems convinced that it is just and imbalance and i should recover fully.
Anyone been down this road. (i wish you could all say no its HORRIBLE)

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Post by Zephan » Thu Aug 26, 2010 8:56 pm

My experience is different to a lot of women, mainly because I think I have had undiagnosed depression most of my life. I tried to come off meds earlier this year, and I refuse to say I failed, what I say is, I was smart enough to know that I still needed the medication. I have since accepted that even if I am on them for the rest of my life, that is fine.
I liken it to DH and his diabetes. If he manages to lose weight and control his diabetes and can stop taking medication, then fine, but if at anytime his diabetes gets out of control again and he needs to take medication, that isnt a bad thing. If he stays medicated his entire life, that is fine too.
Depression is an illness, like any other!

BUT! 6 mths ago, the idea of being medicated for life was the worst thought ever for me, so I know where you are coming from!

And, I also know many women who succesfully come off medication, some within 6 months, some within 3 years. As I said, I think my case is more complicated due to depression over the years!

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Post by Esther » Thu Aug 26, 2010 9:07 pm

Hi Leanne,

Like many of us, I struggled with accepting the need for me to have meds. My life is quite different now I'm on them. I still get sad, mad, happy, laugh and cry, but what is not there anymore is what I call my "freak out". It's weird for someone who has spent much of their life hitting the panic button straight away finding that the panic button doesn't need to actually be pressed every two minutes :-D It's been a very good thing for me, but it definitely doesn't turn you into an emotionless robot either. Just ask DP :lol: :shock: :roll:

Like Zeph, I have also not had much luck weaning off the meds :? , and have come to accept that for now I am better with them than not :D . I do know of women who have only needed them for a short time, and then their body is able to cope by itself. You may be one of these people, but we don't know yet....PND is usually caused by a hormonal imbalance. A lot of women do reset, but some don't, and often there are reasons for this that have existed prior to children.

Like Zeph, I think I have also dealt with issues prior to being diagnosed with PND, such as being a world class worry wort most of my life, and I can also see that the meds may be with me for a long time to come :wink: .

Good luck, feel free to vent anytime or ask any questions you like.

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Post by leanned76 » Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:15 am

Thanks ladies for your openess and honesty. I will just take it as it comes and be grateful that there was help out there. I already feel better knowing that i have tackled the problem head on instead of wishing it away and doing nothing. Unfortunately for me there is a very strong family history of depression and anxiety and OCD. My son is 17 and struggled with OCD for many years, he too has recently been diagnosed with depression and i am imbarrassed to admit this but i only noticed it when i had the same symptoms myself. I thought he had uncontrolled anger issues but turns out he was having "freak" outs just like me and everything seemed exagerated or worse.
I will be thinking of you all and wishing you all good health. It sooo good to be able to talk to someone who knows how i feel

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Post by Dolly » Fri Aug 27, 2010 8:55 am

I took meds after DD2's birth and weaned off fine around 8 months. I am on meds again after DD3's birth and expect to wean off them in around 6 months. (longer this time due to other issues)

If your life works better on the meds then fine. Just letting you know that it may just be a temporary thing too.
DD1 L 03/04 BF
DD2 A 10/06 BF
DD3 O 10/09 EBM has CP

'It is survival and desire to be happy that drive mothers of disabled/ill children, not bravery or some strange need for martyrdom.'

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Post by pmmarshall » Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:16 am

I have been on medication for 10 years. I have been a bit slack with taking my meds of late and as a result have been feeling 'flat' and those old niggling things come back to the surface.

I have realised now that I may just need to be on the meds for the rest of my life and that is a hard statement to swallow let me tell you. But all in all, it seems it is best for me and those around me.

That said, I do know plenty of people who successfully go off the meds and lead a happy and healthy lifestyle.
Hope you are doing better day by day and don't try to rush yourself :D

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Post by Peaches » Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:43 am

I think I"m in a similar situation to Zeph...I've was undiagnosed for a number of years, cept with me family tragedy brought it to a head, I've been on AD's for two years now, with two lapses and increased dosage during that time. I'm feeling pretty stable now...but I'm wondering the same do I know when I'm ok to come off them? Again different to your situ...yours being PND Leanne, I think you will recover...but it's a struggle to know am I better because you don't know until you go off the meds...and it's pretty terrifying to think of going back to the worst side of it again.

I've a feeling I'm a long termer, and I guess if it's what it takes, it's ok.
My girls...DD1 - 8 (bf for 17 months)
DD2 - 4 (bf for 24 months)
My DH 43 yrs, married 8 yrs to myself 32 yrs!!

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Post by AnnaLi » Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:49 pm

I agree with Zephan, that depression is an illness just like any other and it needs the same serious attention and respect as any other.
My first battle with depression came at 19 and because I hated feeling that bleakness, where nothing I thought about doing brought me any joy, I went to my GP to find out what on earth was going on! He started me on Z****t then and recommended I see a Psychologist. I found a great psych went once a week. After a year of that and TAFE and work I tried going without meds. I guess understanding that it was a chemical imbalance and not my fault, I recovered from that episode fairly well and felt normal once I was off.
Unfortunatley, it comes back once in awhile to torment me again and I've never found the medication effective again. Mind you, except for 6 weeks of severe PND after my DD, the depression has never been that bad again and I think you do get better at coping with least for the most part, some days are a battle for sure.
You just keep adding to the tool kit and if one things fails you try another.
I wish you all the best, along with everyone else who goes through this.
May you find strength!!!
Carla born 26th March 06 - 5 years old
Charlie born 1st June 08 - 3 Years old
Baby #3 due 23rd March 12

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