Rendered speechless

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Jenbt85
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Rendered speechless

Post by Jenbt85 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:10 pm

I'm sick at the moment and finally got in to see a specialist this morning. I am so thankful for all the information that I've learned from here and through my ABA training.

Today I was told that I need certain medication that is not compatible with breastfeeding and I have to wean immediately. I burst into tears and my specialist told me not to worry, that there's no difference between breast milk and formula and to "ignore the Nazi literature" because there are no health benefits. I was crying too much to fight back (and really, with the Nazi statement I wasn't going to get through to him anyway). I informed him that I'd be calling Rodney Whyte and he got very condescending about that.

Long story short, it turns out that the medication is safe for breastfeeding. I'm so angry that women who don't know about the Monash line could have their breastfeeding journeys cut short like that. On top of that, the absolute misinformation that he was sprouting could completely undermine a woman (and her child's) right to breastfeed. I don't have the energy to fight this, but it's sad that it happened.

My favourite part of the consultation has to be when he told me that seeing me cry made him want to run away and find a man to talk to. :shock:
Last edited by Jenbt85 on Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jenbt85
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Jenbt85 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:11 pm

Just had to share with people that get it.
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Esther
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Esther » Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:05 pm

I was getting angrier and and angrier at him as I read your post, but his last condescending, misogynist remark made me furious. We need a forum posse organised to pee in his mail box. Now!!

And good on you for consulting Rodney. Who, apart from being the expert, is a really lovely medical professional to talk to as well.

Have some hugs and virtual chocolate. I really,hope you feel better soon and don't have to see that man again.
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Ducks » Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:39 pm

He sounds like he'd benefit from some basic training in how to talk to people! Leaving the breastfeeding "advice" out of it, no-one should think it's ok to say "your crying makes me want to run away and find a man to talk to"! Do you have to see him again?
Can you ask your gp for a referral to another specialist? I'd certainly give your gp feedback, they might be less likely to refer to that specialist again if they know how rude he is.

On the breastfeeding "advice", I wonder why specialists in non-bf related medical areas often feel qualified and obliged to provide advice on areas outside of their expertise. I wonder if he would provide advice on other areas unrelated to his specialisation?
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freerange
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by freerange » Mon Sep 05, 2016 9:03 pm

That's a man who needs a slogan tshirt!

"Seeing you cry makes me want to run away and find a man to talk to!"

complete with sad faced man... naw! think of all the hugs and sympathy he'll get from other men... and the useful warning to his patients.

Or maybe you could make a poster and stick it on the practice window! :)

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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by chiggins » Mon Sep 05, 2016 9:46 pm

Wow. Just wow. :x
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Jenbt85
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Jenbt85 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 10:02 pm

Thanks everyone :) I have very low blood pressure and chronic fatigue syndrome, which is making life interesting with two young kids.

I'm next seeing him in six weeks. I'm reluctant to find someone new as I am so unwell that waiting to get into someone new would be painful.

Now I'm not forced to wean (oh, other quote "just express and discard your milk so that if the medication doesn't work, you'll still have supply if you must continue". I said "but she might then completely wean and forget how to latch" and he said "nooo she's not that dumb".) I feel like I can just go and get the medication / advice and accept his limitations. I think that there is a caring Dr in there, he just doesn't do emotion - and isn't a feminist.
Last edited by Jenbt85 on Mon Sep 05, 2016 10:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jenbt85
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Jenbt85 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 10:06 pm

Ducks wrote: Can you ask your gp for a referral to another specialist? I'd certainly give your gp feedback, they might be less likely to refer to that specialist again if they know how rude he is.

On the breastfeeding "advice", I wonder why specialists in non-bf related medical areas often feel qualified and obliged to provide advice on areas outside of their expertise. I wonder if he would provide advice on other areas unrelated to his specialisation?
My GP (who is so awesome in the true sense if the word) loves him, which is why it was such a shock when he was so ... Misogynistic.

I'm amazed that even with no specialisation in breastfeeding that a health professional can say it's equal to formula. :shock:
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breastfeedingisnormal
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by breastfeedingisnormal » Tue Sep 06, 2016 1:56 am

Tell your GP what happened. GPs aren't ever in the position you were (they get specialist advice in lifts, at conferences, on wards and are never treated the way 'ordinary' patients are). GP needs to know that specialist is a seething heap of dangerously incompetent misogyny. It is not OK for health care professionals to treat anyone like this. I understand you not having the energy to fight but please consider, can you trust this person? Really? Have you seen any evidence that he cares for or even respects you? Talk to your GP. Get another referral (ask GP to make the appointment if you can't find the energy). See this person while you are waiting for an appointment with someone else but, honey, with every ounce of understanding I say, Run. Don't Walk. Run far far away and don't. look. back.
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Mummy woo!
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Mummy woo! » Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:53 am

breastfeedingisnormal wrote:Tell your GP what happened. GPs aren't ever in the position you were (they get specialist advice in lifts, at conferences, on wards and are never treated the way 'ordinary' patients are). GP needs to know that specialist is a seething heap of dangerously incompetent misogyny. It is not OK for health care professionals to treat anyone like this. I understand you not having the energy to fight but please consider, can you trust this person? Really? Have you seen any evidence that he cares for or even respects you? Talk to your GP. Get another referral (ask GP to make the appointment if you can't find the energy). See this person while you are waiting for an appointment with someone else but, honey, with every ounce of understanding I say, Run. Don't Walk. Run far far away and don't. look. back.
QFT. Especially with something like CFS where the symptoms can be non-descript - you need someone who will trust you as the expert on your body and life, not someone who might roll their eyes if you question their medical advice.

You haven't promised fidelity to this guy - just get on the waiting list for another specialist while you keep seeing the first guy.
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Bailey's Mum » Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:09 pm

Yes, please tell your GP, and please consider putting in a complaint to the specialist's practice. It's his job to be up to date on his knowledge about medications, not to rely on product literature, which is very heavily skewed towards CYA for the pharma companies.

Good on you for having the confidence to ring Rodney. He really does know his stuff, and is always happy to help a BF mum.

Hope you feel better soon.
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by mummymanda » Tue Sep 06, 2016 10:50 pm

Wow um just wow. Considering you live near me I am guessing this specialist is within the vacinity of me. Forget peeing in his letterbox I'll poo on his windscreen. My goodness there are some really undermining Dr's around! Have dealt with a fair few lately but he takes the cake.
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by AussieBritLu » Tue Sep 06, 2016 11:13 pm

wow.
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by snowie » Wed Sep 07, 2016 7:35 pm

wow, just wow! how uneducated of him!
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Jenbt85
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Re: Rendered speechless

Post by Jenbt85 » Sun Sep 11, 2016 8:49 am

Sorry for my late reply! I actually like the idea of getting on another waiting list while seeing this one. It's not that I disagree with his treatment recommendations, but that he's lost my confidence by giving me wildly inaccurate breastfeeding information.

I read his book and I think he has a quirky sort of humour, but definitely has traditional views of women. My favourite example (paraphrased but true to the essence) has to be of how "Barry was an average looking man and somehow managed to get Suzy - a slim, gorgeous, elegant woman to fall in love with him. Barry continued to push his luck and they had three beautiful daughters. Joke is on Barry though because Suzy has low blood pressure and it's genetic... so now their three daughters have it too. So here's Barry living with four women but not one can stand up to do the dishes!!"

As a friend said "this would be funny as a satirical TV script, flipping awful that this is the guy treating you."

It makes me think it's an unconscious bias because surely a health professional wouldn't consciously publish this? There are lots of similar examples of "sigh, women hey?" Or "gorgeous, slim" women throughout it.

The book also ends with "sometimes I offend people and don't realise. If that's you, be gentle with me."

I feel like I might be skirting the CoE line here, so if this message needs to be removed please let me know.
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