Advice Needed

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Alias2
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Advice Needed

Post by Alias2 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:33 pm

I am posting under an alias as it is quite sensitive. I will delete this soon.
We have a member who comes to our local group and i am concerned about the safety of her children and some of her parenting.

She often leaves her child under 2 in the car during our meeting. It is Australia and it is hot. Aside from that it is illegal and you cannot see her car.

The other issue that i have discovered is that she leaves her child asleep at home while she picks her older kids up from school.

I am freaked out by this. And i don't know what to do. She is very sensitive and i worry if i say something, she will not come back to our group. I am worried that something bad will happen if i do not say anything. I feel her youngest is in genuine danger because of her parenting.

Please, any advice would be great. And if you think you know what group i am from, please do not say anything. I know this person does not use the forum but i will delete this in a while anyway.

Thanks.

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mimo
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Post by mimo » Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:39 pm

I don't know what I would do. Do you think she would respond to the "legal" aspect - i.e. it is illegal to leave a child unattended in a car? If the teachers at school knew about it they'd have to report it to authorities.
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Post by Penguin » Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:58 pm

Is there an ABA poliy or protocol on what should be done in a situation like this?
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mooki
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Post by mooki » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:06 pm

that sounds very difficult. Is there another trusted member of your group you can speak to in confidence?

It sounds like something that needs to be acted on immediately, but if taken the wrong way and she doesn't come back, it will still possibly happen.

If her child is left in the car often, has no one said anything before? I understand the worry with summer coming up.

I think I would be inclined for someone to talk to her, putting the emphasis on the children, rather than her choices if that makes sense.

If something was said and even if she didnt come back, do you think its something she would take on board?

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Post by Esther » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:09 pm

It might be worth following it up with your GL, if she's not already aware of the issue.
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Post by pseudo » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:11 pm

This absolutely needs to be actioned immediately. Have you spoken with your group leader? These children are in danger and I would make a report to the appropriate authories.

A mum used to leave her newborn at home while she picked her older children up from school. It was discovered when a teacher just asked her where the baby was and she said "at home asleep in her cot", adding that she was home alone so she had better hurry back. The teacher had a duty of care to report this to the appropriate authority.

How sad. I hope she okay and gets the help she needs.

I just wanted to add that the reason I think you need to address it with the appropriate authority is because the child is in danger and no parent who is OK would do this. She needs some help as she must not be coping.
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Post by MM » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:13 pm

I don't know what I'd do either. But surely the safety and well being of the child is way more important than whether she comes back or not...

A couple of ideas:

- what about saying in a shocked voice, 'it's way too hot to leave xx in the car! Do you want to put him/her down in our bed?' (I'm guessing the kid is asleep which is why she leaves him/her in the car). If she says no, 'say 'oh no, you can't leave him/her in the car, it's illegal'.

- The childcare centre near where I live has some posters about not leaving kids in the car... If your meetings are at a public place, maybe you could get one on the notice board. Obviously this would seem weird and passive aggressive if the meeting is at someone's house.

But it also sounds like you are worried about parenting more generally and these are just examples... It's tricky that's for sure
Last edited by MM on Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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mooki
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Post by mooki » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:13 pm

Penguin wrote:Is there an ABA poliy or protocol on what should be done in a situation like this?
Thats an interesting point. On counselling calls theres the coloured light system. Ive yet to read/hear anything about group meetings, well in a non counselling situation anyway. I know that the coloured light system would still apply for counselling at meetings

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JennyD
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Post by JennyD » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:31 pm

ABA policy would suggest you discuss this concern with your GL and your branch president. Ask your GL what the requirements are for at risk phone counselling, it sounds like the same sort of situation.

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Post by Alias2 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:42 pm

Thanks everyone. I know what to do know. It will get this thread deleted.

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