Leaving bub with DH

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Leaving bub with DH

Postby ClOuD_NiNe » Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:54 pm

Looking for some advice... Next weekend I'm supposed to be going to a ladies night out in the small town where I live. I am really looking forward to it, there is a band playing and it's a good opportunity to get to know some people better and meet some new faces (we only moved here 5 months ago).

Here comes the BUT... DD will be almost 15 weeks, she doesn't settle too well in the evenings. Usually she will have 2 or 3 good naps during the day and then come evening time she'll have a couple of little 20 min catnaps in the Ergo while we do dinner etc. She will eventually pass out sometime between 8 and 9pm with me in bed.

The ladies night starts at 7pm with cocktails and finger food and goes til midnight. I've been expressing milk so DH can feed DD. The bit that's worrying me is the settling, we did a bit of a trial last night, DH put her in the Ergo after dinner but she just cried and wouldn't settle for him :( I'm not sure what to do, he reckons it will be fine and he'll just walk her around, she will probably cry but will eventually pass out, but I don't know if I can have a good time knowing she's upset. She will nap on him during the day no prob. The function is only just down the road, a 10 min walk so I could easily come back if I'm needed.

WWYD? Get DH to practise settling her a few more times in the evening this week? Just wing it on the night? Any tips on getting dad to settle bub? He just hasn't spent much time with her, he mostly does stuff with/for DS as obviously I'm the one who feeds and settles DD. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated!
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Postby Nedsmum » Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:33 am

Personally, I'd just wing it and trust that DH is confident in himself.

In my experience, it's much easier when bubs just knows you are not there, and the person can just focus on the baby...

Have fun, hopefully it will go really well and you'll have a good night out, and don't forget you might to express that 'skipped' feed and watch out for engorgement in the 24-48 hours afterwards...
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Postby fellare » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:19 am

you could give it another try when you're not home. DS wont settle easily for DH when I'm there, but he's fine when I'm not there.

DH could also try different techniques. bouncing, singing, rocking, shushing. DH uses very different techniques then I do.
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Postby marie7 » Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:10 am

My boys would never settle for dh ever, even my 16mth old cries, and cries on top of dh until he passes out when I'm not here, however Friday night just gone I wanted to go for cake and a wine at 8pm with gf and nothing was stopping me!! He survived, he's fine and enjoyed a long, lovely feed at 1230am when I returned home :roll:
What I do, is I just don't go out unless I really want or need to, hence you sound very excited and should go!!! Your dh and dd will be fine and work it out. It's good your only 10mins away for any emergency. I remember I went to a hens night when ds2 was only 6ish months old and when I came home him and dh were asleep on each other in the bedroom, it took hours for him to do that, but he was safe and dh was there for him, knowing that I was able to enjoy a night when I want or needed or have to go to one!!
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Postby Snake Hips Mcroy » Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:59 am

I wouldn't worry about the practice runs - why put yourself through the stress? I'd just wing it on the night, and if it's really bad you could pop home? But they might just be fine on th night!
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Postby Nicwwjd » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:30 pm

I reckon if DH is happy and keen to look after your DD then you should go and have a lovely evening! :)

I find DH has more success when Im not around, and even when DS hasn't been easy to settle, DH doesn't call me, he just figures it out.... and then when I get home DH looks so proud of himself for his achievement! And I'm a more relaxed wife and Mum because I've had a bit of time out too! Wins all around!
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Postby ~WildChild~ » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:39 pm

I agree with the other ladies, wing it on the night. Your DH sounds confident, so enjoy your evening trusting that DH will call you if needed.
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Postby ClOuD_NiNe » Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:54 pm

Thanks ladies! Yep we'll just wing it on the night. I think the only thing I can do to set DH up for success is to make sure DD has had good sleeps during the day so she's not overtired in the evening, otherwise she'll be harder to settle
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Postby Mummy woo! » Wed Jul 03, 2013 8:41 am

ClOuD_NiNe wrote:Thanks ladies! Yep we'll just wing it on the night. I think the only thing I can do to set DH up for success is to make sure DD has had good sleeps during the day so she's not overtired in the evening, otherwise she'll be harder to settle


Good plan. And no baby was ever harmed by crying in the arms of a loving parent - he is her dad, not some teenager you picked up to some babysitting. If it all goes totally to custard can he come down to the event and let her have a feed?

Are you planning to take your pump and express some milk while you are out - if DD usually feeds that much in the evening you might get a bit uncomfortable and of course engorgement/blockages/mastitis sucks.

Have a great night out!
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Postby Snake Hips Mcroy » Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:29 am

Yeah I reckon it's good to remember that some days they cry for mum and wont settle either... it's getting through those hard times which binds us and builds trust - and dads need time to do that too. He'll be fine! Have a great night!
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Postby ClOuD_NiNe » Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:46 pm

Mummy woo - DH wouldn't be able to bring her down for a feed as DS will be asleep at home too so he can't leave the house, but I could easily pop home if needed. I wasn't planning on taking my pump but will express as soon as I get home, or feed her depending on whether I've had a few drinks.

DH was holding her tonight while I got ready for bed and she was all smiles one minute and then just completely lost it the next. She cried an awful screeching "I'm utterly miserable where's my mummy" cry :( I really hope it's better when I'm not there!
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Postby millimum » Mon Jul 15, 2013 12:48 pm

So how did it go?
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Postby ClOuD_NiNe » Mon Jul 15, 2013 3:37 pm

It went ok, DH texted me about 8:30 saying she was fast asleep so I would have a good time... He lied! But I'm kinda glad he did. I did have a great time!

In reality he walked her round in the Ergo for about an hour before she settled, then tried to put her down in the bassinet a couple of times but she kept waking up. So he eventually kept her in the Ergo and watched some tv. When it got really late and he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore he put her in the bed on my side and she fell asleep, but he said he kept waking up to check she was ok! She took some EBM from a bottle at one point so that's a bonus. I pumped when I got home but had to dump it down the sink as I'd had a few drinks. Then she had some nice long feeds from me later in the night and next morning.

All in all not too bad for a first attempt! Thanks for asking :D
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Postby Yankee » Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:10 pm

Sounds like it went pretty well all things considering. So glad you had a fun night!
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