controlled comforting at child care

Returning to the paid workforce, study or just going out for the night. Discuss issues related to leaving your baby with a carer here
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controlled comforting at child care

Post by clairek766 » Tue Aug 14, 2012 10:32 pm

DS is 9.5 months and fed to sleep. We are not fans of controlled crying/comforting techniques. I tried it once and my MCHN told me to give up after 40 minutes, and it took me 2 weeks to get him comfy feeding to sleep and napping again after that!

I looked at a child care place today and they said that they'd rock/hold him for the first few times then put him in the cot and rock or pat him and leave him to fuss/cry for a little while, but wouldn't let him cry hysterically.

I don't like the sound of this at all. I told them I'm against CIO.

DS has never been away from me more than a couple of hours about 4 times, and his daddy looked after him. Iit's going to be hard enough for him.

I've looked at FDC as well and the woman initially said he'd sleep on a fold out sofa on the lounge room floor with the toddlers, then she must've seen the look on my face and said he could have a cot in another room if I'd prefer, and that she would be happy to try nursing/holding him to get to sleep.

Am I asking too much to want child care workers to hold him til he's asleep and avoid letting him cry? I know it's going to be tough going initially but I don't want him 'sleep trained' or left to cry.

Hope this makes sense I'm so stressed and anxious about being separated from him :(

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Post by trilbs » Wed Aug 15, 2012 6:49 am

I agree with your stance on CIO but I also think it would be extremely difficult for a carer to hold/rock him to sleep with other children to look after. I wonder what others experiences of this with fed to sleep babies are?
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Post by Mummy woo! » Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:15 am

Our child care centre rocks babies to sleep when they need it. They see it as part of the process of helping a new baby settle in. They don't plan to do it long term, but they will do it when the child needs it. Oobiwoo was 9 months old when he started there, and they do whatever mum has been doing at home, and gradually work towards the centre's routine. They started with cuddling to sleep, then cuddling until sleepy, then some cuddles and into the cot. And they stay in the room with the babies until they are all asleep (two cot rooms - one for two nap kids and one for one nap kids - they all go to sleep at the same time).

So it is possible and you can expect them to help your LO in a gentle way - do you have many other options for childcare? Probably not, unfortunately :roll:
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Post by Mummy79 » Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:40 am

You will find that with Child Care there will be a lot of things the carers do differently to you that you may not like. The carers will try and keep routine as similar as possible but at the end of the day they have other children to care for as well.

Child Care may not be the place for your child if you don't like the techniques they use.
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Post by FiveInTheBed » Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:42 am

Mummy woo! wrote:Our child care centre rocks babies to sleep when they need it. They see it as part of the process of helping a new baby settle in. They don't plan to do it long term, but they will do it when the child needs it.
Ours too. H was 12 months when he started at his current centre, and still fed to sleep or fell asleep on my lap. They used to cuddle him to sleep or the carer would walk around doing other things with him over her shoulder, until he passed out.
I have had huge worries when starting both my kids at daycare, about how they would sleep. They have mostly been unfounded. H now at 22 months just crawls onto one of the mattresses with all the other kids at 11:30 and has his 2 hour nap. No tears, no fuss. Never does that at home, little trickster!

Edited to add that they also have a few swings at our CCC that they use for the smaller babies, to rock them when the carers are all busy (which at a ratio of 1:4, is pretty often!)
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Post by whitto04 » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:36 am

When my girls started at daycare, they had always been fed to sleep and held. I discussed this with the centre, and they used gentle methods to encourage my girls to fall (and stay) asleep. While it sounds hard, I don't think any centre would leave a baby crying for too long, as it would distract and upset the other children.
And our old centre used to pat the toddlers to sleep when they needed it, so there are centres that will respond to the needs of the children.
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Post by Andypandy » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:41 am

My niece's centre wear her in a sling to get her to sleep. She is 17 months old.
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Post by clairek766 » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:57 am

Andypandy wrote:My niece's centre wear her in a sling to get her to sleep. She is 17 months old.
Wow that's great I want my ds to go there pity we are in SA!

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Post by clairek766 » Wed Aug 15, 2012 10:02 am

Thanks for your experiences ladies it seems it's a mixed bag I'm going to keep looking.

We are hoping to get into a lovely place in Oct I find out Friday. They seemed a bit more flexible and while we were there one of the workers was rocking and singing to a baby to help it sleep.

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Post by Aleishasmum » Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:07 pm

You should be able to ask that carers settle your child in the same way you do at home. If they are inflexible about responding to individual child/family requirements I would look elsewhere.
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Post by JulieJ » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:04 pm

My experience is that they act differently at cc than at home anyway. DS has a day sleep at cc, he never does at home. That said our centre would always pat him, snuggle him off to sleep in the early days before he got into the routine of doing what the other kids did and just lying on the mattress. With my elder two when they wouldn't settle to sleep, they would jut have Them hop up. Dd1 was a shocker and would scream hysterically while being patted, soothed. she is almost 9 now and they still remember how she wouldn't sleep.

If you don't feel comfortable with how they would manage your child, look elsewhere.
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Post by Esther » Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:00 pm

My only advice is to always go with your gut on cc. The one time I agnored my gut, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great :? .

I also agree with previous comments that children will do many things with no fuss, including sleeping and eating (alas), that they will faff around all over the place with for us. Oh for it to be the other way around. Just sometimes! :roll:
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