Going to a wedding

Returning to the paid workforce, study or just going out for the night. Discuss issues related to leaving your baby with a carer here
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Tani
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Going to a wedding

Post by Tani » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:11 pm

We have a wedding to attend in two weeks, bub will be 10 weeks old. DH has organised for MIL to babysit. We will be gone most of the day, as the venue is 2 hours drive away. (I'm not sure of the exact times, we never actually received a physical invitation).

how much milk should I leave for MIL? I have ~ 500mL and plan on expressing more in the intervening time.

Should we have a test run (leaving him with a carer) first? MIL is worried he may not take a bottle, I don't want to give him a bottle myself, would I be better off getting DH to try a bottle when I'm around, or would I be better off leaving home entirely?

Or should I just pressure DH into taking bub with us? We took him on a long (2 1/2 hr) car journey yesterday, he did fine on the way there, but did need to stop midway on the return journey for a feed (he likes to feed frequently) so the long drive doesn't bother me, but he can be very unsettled and a lot of work during the evening, doesn't like to sit still so I do worry how he would handle the reception.
I really am not looking forward to being apart from the little mite for such a long time, if the wedding was local and I could come home between the ceremony and reception it wouldn't bother me as much, but I haven't left him alone at all yet.

megant
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Post by megant » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:22 pm

it sounds like you don't really want to leave bub, personally I would not have been able to leave my baby at that age for such a long time. I think you should take him to the wedding. Try popping him in a sling or baby carrier...would he fall asleep in one of those, leaving you a bit more free to talk and eat your meal? Then you wouldn't have to stress about leaving enough milk, what if he doesn't drink out of the bottle etc.

Good Luck
m

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Nedsmum
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Post by Nedsmum » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:31 pm

I'd take the bub. Find somewhere close to the reception place to stay overnight if you can...or even bring MIL with you and put here somewhere - if the reception place is near the bride or groom's home they might be able to 'lend' you someone's house so that she has somewhere to be with the baby...for a couple of hours - in between feeds...

Even if you leave bubs with someone, you'll have to organise to express etc, because you don't want to get engorged/overfull and end up with mastitis the day after... :shock:
Breastmilk - the ultimate 'brain food'!!!

Tani
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Post by Tani » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:32 pm

Unfortunately he won't sleep in a sling if I'm not moving... he is pretty good in his swing, but it's bulky and there likely wouldn't be enough room for it.

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Nedsmum
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Post by Nedsmum » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:39 pm

Are you close to the bride/groom - can you ask them if there is a room separate to the main reception room that you can have the baby in ?

Although, a word of warning that some people simply assume that babies should not come to weddings - we brought our little bubs to our cousin's wedding, and we knew he wasn't invited, so we didn't tell anyone, and just brought him anyway - although we did know we could 'get away with it' because he's our third and we've learnt how to keep a baby out of sigh/out of mind over the years... :wink:
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foggylog
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Post by foggylog » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:43 pm

i'd second trying to stay somewhere close by that MIL can look after bub between feeds. or take bub and feed when bub requires, if to unsettled maybe then get MIL to come and get bub? but at 10 weeks i could not have left bub alone for that long even when she had EBM, i just physically would want to be with her.

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Post by nermylama » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:10 pm

foggylog wrote:i'd second trying to stay somewhere close by that MIL can look after bub between feeds. or take bub and feed when bub requires, if to unsettled maybe then get MIL to come and get bub? but at 10 weeks i could not have left bub alone for that long even when she had EBM, i just physically would want to be with her.
Same. You might find you don't enjoy the wedding at all anyway because you are so far away from your baby. I'd just take him, IME no one minds if you are walking around jiggling a baby, and there'd likely be a room somewhere if you aren't comfortable feeding in a crowd yet.
Courage is not always a lion that roars. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice that says "I will try again tomorrow"

AshFinn
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Post by AshFinn » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:26 pm

Also at that age, things can change in as little as 2 weeks. There is no way I could have left mine that young but they settled into a sling about that time so I'd be practising holding in a sling to get him used to it - things change so quickly when they are that little that he may just get used to it and then you could take him without too much worry.
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Tani
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Post by Tani » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:52 pm

I dont think the couple are torally against babies at their wedding, while I was pregnant they joked about my leaving the baby with DH and going on my own, and I replied that I'd take bub and leave DH alone so I could feed him, and they didn't say anything. I might get DH to ask, he wants to ask what the dress code is anyways.

We do use the sling a lot, I go for walks with him in it most days, and is fine as long as I am walking....

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Little Tiggermum
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Post by Little Tiggermum » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:15 pm

dancing is close to walking... :-D
you sound very in tune with your little boy... I've taken all my kids to weddings... the first when she was a week old. Generally the younger the baby the better behaved they are.
As long as he has boob and mum he should be happy... and you can always go for a walk if he gets too cranky- wedding veues usually have gorgeous gardens.
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lyn1971
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Post by lyn1971 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:45 pm

with all the noise and hustle and bustle of being out at the reception you might find that bubs is quite settled while you are there....

I agree with others about taking such a young baby with you, have fun!
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